40 drinks holidays, year 3: 2012 - 2013: Please Review
by SoulfullyInclined
Summary: Karen [from BSC] who's a mom in her 40's drinks putting her daughters through hell. one of whom Mandy becomes friends w/ Marley who's new. they have EDs. Karen goes to karaoke. while visiting for the holidays Puck & the glee people drink. I write for my audience and *To Get Reviews so **Please Review**. Give me feedback tell me what you liked want more of.** x-over. EDs abuse.
1. summer 2012: rose

rst in this series 'Year 1' and 'Year 2' Jennifer, Rebecca, Cherie, Karen's friends and Ashley's friend Lily and Lia make few appearances. For those of you who really liked those people/pairings please let me know in your reviews and I'll write them in. Jennifer and Jesse are still together as are Rebecca and Evan and Louisa and Cherie. Mandy stays w/ Ashley's cousin Annabelle for a bit.

rachel, dianna, chris, puck, santanna are all 19.

karen's 43 jesse's 44. pam's 43.

evan the new character is 27 until june when he turns 28. lila another new character is 19.

Rose

it was a warm day in aug.. My friend Lucy &amp; I were in the park. I knew her from school. I'd just told her about Karen.

"Wow. I can't imagine my mom ever. Oh wait that won't help you. Sorry. Like do you need a place to stay or...?" she asked.

"um no not for right now. But if I do I'll call you."

"oh ok."


	2. summer 2012: aug 31: fl: ashley college

TV Shows » Glee » **40 drinks holidays, year 3: 2012 - 2013: Please Review**

Author: SoulfullyInclined

Rated: M - English - General - Reviews: 1 - Published: 02-15-15 - Updated: 10-16-16

id:11049414

Ashley

it was a warm day in aug. actually it was the last day of aug. a fri. it was 2 wks. After my cousin annabelle's 25th birthday. She my siblings and rebecca had come down to help me unpack.

"so uh where's your roommate?" alexa who was now 18 asked.

Tom hadn't come but he said he and eric leo and gavin would all visit me at some point along w/ lacy and mark.

"she's coming in later. I don't exactly know when. I don't think she likes big groups of people," I replied.

"oh. When do classes start?"

"um on Mon."

"oh."

"yeah. I'm taking modern dance, english and math. Cause I have to."

they laughed.

"lila's invited for thanksgiving although I don't know her," jesse said.

"yeah I know. I've never taken modern dance."

"i have few yrs. Back. Actually we went to the same college," annabelle said.

That's right she was 6 yrs. Older than I was. I was 19.

"do you want help w/ anything?" rebecca who was now 19 asked.

We had boxes of my stuff and the stuff we'd bought in the rental car.

"um just put the boxes in my room which is..." I spun around: "to the left of the kitchen if you're lookin at it. Just put them against the walls we already got my bed and furniture in there. Put them wherever there's room the bed's fine."

"ok. Hey come help?" she asked evan who was 20.

"ok I will."

they went and got the boxes and put them in my room.

"do you know when tom's coming?" I asked alexa.

"he said next fri." she replied.

"oh ok."

"nice place," hannah who was also 18 said looking around.

"thanks."

"oh so i'll be coming w/ tom eric gavin and leo," she told me.

"oh ok."

my aunt susanna and her husband mike annabelle's parents were paying my college expenses.

"when are...mark and lacy coming?" I asked jesse.

"after eric and them," he answered.

"oh."

"where's the wine?" karen the alcoholic asked.

"well i've heard there's a cvs right down the street so they might have wine..."

"ok I...i hope you have a good time. I'm going to go," she said and left.

"sorry about that. Not that it's my fault I just. Feel obligated to apologise for her," pam said.

"oh. ok."

"it's warm here," rose said.

"i know that's what I like about it," annabelle said smiling.

"me too," mandy 16 said.

"wow this place is big," louisa also 16 said.

"yeah it is," I said.

Lily came over to me. She was 18.

"do you want help w/ anything else?" she asked.

"no just the boxes if you want to help em...er I mean evan and rebecca."

"ok."

"and I literally mean if you want to."

annabelle smiled.

She went and got some boxes and brought them into the bedroom w/ jesse and pam following. Alexa helped. That left me, rose, hannah, annabelle and the twins in the living room. Hannah explored the kitchen going around and opening and closing the cabinet and fridge. Rose was also 18.

" 't have food yet," she informed me.

"i kknow that's why we bought groceries," I reminded her.

"oh that's right."

"so where's there to eat around here?" rose asked.

"well there's a publix that's a grocery store down the street. And apparently there's a gas station not too far. And a ruby tuesday's. And...a...um...um...the...oh a smoothie place. I only know this cause annabelle told me."

"ok well I could go for a smoothie. Ya want something?"

"ok."

"i. actually i'll write down what everyone wants."

"yeah hit up dad for..."

"i will."

rose went around getting everyone's order.

"and I could go for a smoke," louisa said.

"yeah me too," rose said hearing this.

She was done taking everyone's smoothie order.

"hey so we're going to go to the smoothie place," louisa told me meaning her hannah and rose.

"ok," I said.

They left. I told jesse where they were going.

"i. where's the bathroom?" mandy asked.

"right by my bedroom," I told her.

"ok."

she went and found it. Evan lily and rebecca jesse and pam were in my bedroom. The living room felt empty w/o everyone in there. It was weird.

"wow it's . Like idinno there won't be a whole bunch of people around for the first time in...like um...3 yrs. Wow so this'll be weird."

annabelle approached me: "i can stay the night if you want me to hon."

" . I actually would like to spend some time just you evan and I. The 3 people i'm closest to."

"ok. Hey when are the glee people coming?"

"i don't know but probably some time after...fu...mark and them come."

"ok. I'd like for you and I. Well...um. I'd like to spend a few days here myself got nothin else to do and he'll understand."

she meant her current boyfriend.

"ok. Yeah how are you 2 doing?"

"we're ok."

"ok. And of course you know you're always welcome."

"ok."

evan came back into the living room.

"hey," he said going over to another box.

"hey um anna and I were talking and we decided annabelle I mean"

"right"

"anyway we decided. Well i'd want to spend some time w/ just you I and her maybe for a few days don't know when."

"ok i'll talk to rebecca about that."

"shit."

"what?"

"i just realised anna and kate are still at the store. I um i'ma text kate."

"ok."

who was 17. anna was 15.

"she's gotta be back by sun. cause school starts on mon. and..."

"you're fine. Ok? Louisa and rose are smoking if you want to join them."

"ok yeah maybe I will."

"i'll tell rebecca."

"ok."

"you're not usually like this," annabelle told him.

"yeah I just it's just. I'm gonna miss her."

"you can always come visit," I told him.

"i know but it's not really the same."

"no it's not."

"anyway going to go smoke."

"ok."

he left.

"hey rebecca," I called after he'd left.

"yeah hon?" she said looking at me and smiling.

"um he er I mean evan …...he went to go smoke w/ rose and louisa."

"oh ok. Ashley you've become like a sister to me and i'll miss you. I know we're not close but I just. You're really strong and sweet and when you sing...damn you got a helluva voice."

I laughed taken aback by her swearing.

I smiled: "thank you. I'll miss you too honey. You're sweet and just lovely and oh so pretty."

"i know evan'll update me but it's...that's different."

"yeah I know."

lily came into the room.

"have we finished w/ the boxes?" she asked.

"yeah most of them," I answered.

"ok."

she went and sat on the blue sofa lila and i'd picked out earlier in the summer. It had been a busy summer w/ me getting ready for college and kate getting ready for her 1st yr. In a public HS. She was now in remission.

I got a text from pam. I opened my phone and read it: 'there's something from me in your suitace. Sorry to have been invasive. Read it later'.

'ok thank you' I sent back.

"yeah...oh ok so are you...um ok...no I know. Whenever you're ready" I heard jesse on the phone in the bedrrom.

When he was finished he came back into the living room.

"that was your mom er I mean karen. She's going back to the hotel," he told me: "w/ her wine which she found at cvs."

"oh um ok," I said.

He want and stood by one of the walls.

I got a text from evan; 'I found louisa, rose, kate and anna. W/ them'

'ok' I sent back.

Pam came out of the living room.

"hey are we done w/ the boxes? Actually...i don't think w/ the furniture in oh wait we can just put the rest of the closet. Ok lily will you help?" she asked.

"ok," lily said getting up.

"i'll help too," mandy said also getting up.

"ok."

"honey i'm...i'm gonna miss you. I know i'm not your real dad but-" jesse said.

"yeah but you're a helluva lot better than my real dad," I said.

"ok so you're right."

"sorry."

"it's ok. Anyway i've always thought of you as my daughter even though it's not been 5 yrs. Yet. There's something from you in the suitcase."

"ok and there's something from me in yours."

"ok. So um...how do you want tonight to go who do you want here?"

"well um you anna er annabelle and evan."

"ok that's fine. The others will be idinno at the hotel or something."

"ok."

"yeah i'm getting hungry anyway," lily said coming out of the bedroom.

"yeah me too let's hit up that ruby tuesday;s," pam said also coming out of the room.

"ok oh but wait our smoothies. Damnit. And I could go for some food," mandy said.

"oh yeah that's right. You guys are welcome to wait here or...yeah here's probably best," I told them.

"ok."

"we're done putting the boxes in that room?" lily said.

"yeah except for these which won't fit. Well they're labeled so. Not like lila's going to go through them. and i'll be unpacking tonight so," I said.

"ok."

"so...help me w/ the groceries hon?" I asked annabelle going over to the table we'd put the groceries against and looking at annabelle.

"ok," she said smiling.

"oh right we bought groceires," jesse said.

"yeah that sounds like hannah earlier," I said.

"mmm i'm going out onto the balcony," mandy told me.

"ok sweetie."

and she went out onto the balcony.

"so we could have some of your food um I mean if that's ok w/ you damnit we should've bought more some for us but then you won't have some and..." jesse said.

"it's ok I mean I can buy more at the store not like it's closing forever or something."

"oh that's right."

"well first let us unpack them and then maybe. Well we'll see."

"ok."

"so what do you know about lila?" annabelle asked me as we got the bags of groceries and brought them over to the kitchen.

Rebecca was sitting on the sofa w/ lily.

"um well I know that she's quiet really quiet. She's a private person keeps to herself. Um oh she likes dance. She's from CA and her mom's in paris dad's in chicago he goes there a she doesn't have any siblings. Her friends are in CA."

"oh."

we set the groceries on the kitchen counter and went back to the table to get more bags. We had 4 bags each. We went back to the kitchen.

"actually I think we should unpack these first and then um. Get the other ones. Otherwise there won't be any room left," annabelle told me.

"oh ok."

we began unpacking the bags.

"i had a roommate for awhile in college," annabelle said: "actually I think we were in this v. apt. actually. Yeah we were."

"i know I think you've told me."

"oh."

"like it's ok you can tell me again i'm jus sayin."

"ok. Yeah 't work out. We were 2 different people. She was um loud in a sense. Well she was more social than I was. She'd have people over w/o asking we'd get in fights well we'd argue. She um was honest which I didn't like you know how I am w/ that."

I smiled: "yeah."

"and so eventually she moved out and it was all mine just as it is now. She actually was from CA."

"right."

"ok so where do you want these any particular order or...?"

"well the milk juice fruit soda and vitaminwater should-" I began.

The balcony door slid open and in came mandy.

"hey I heard vitaminwater " she said coming over to us.

"um you it's ok if you have some but it won't be cold," annabelle told her.

"ok that's ok. Thank you," mandy said taking some and going back to the balcony.

"i'll have some too if that's ok," lily said.

"um sure ok," I said.

She took it and sat back down.

"does anyone else want some?" I asked.

"i would like some," rebecca the polite one said.

"ok," I went and got some for her.

"jesse you?" I asked.

"no you know I don't like it."

"ok well we also have normal water. Er I mean."

"not that vitaminwater is abnormal in any way," annabelle said and we laughed.

"now that i'll go for," jesse said standing and coming over to us.

"ok you know where the cups are," I told him.

"do I?" he asked unsure.

"yeah in the cabinet closest to the laundry room."

"oh ok that's right."

he went and got a cup and got some water for himself.

"i should actually probably have some myself," I said putting a vitaminwater bottle in the cabinet so i'd remember it.

"i could go for some soda," annabelle said.

"it won't be cold."

"i know that's why i'm waiting. Now what were we talking about?"

"um we were talking about where I wanted things."

"oh yes that's right. So anyway you were saying?"

"well I was saying that I want the milk, soda, juice, um vitaminwaters and fruit in the fridge. And the cheese, pasta sauce. the frozen stuff in of course the freezer."

"right ok," annabelle laughed at this.

"and the …...bars and rice and...um...the pasta will go in the cabinets."

"ok."

"but not where the dishes are."

"no of course not."

"ok."

as we set to work putting things away I got a text from lily: 'hey where's the fire?' it read. She meant the fireball.

'in my suitcase I moved it when we were at the hotel' I texted back.

'ok'.

"what was that about?" annabelle asked.

"i'll tell you later."

"ok."

jesse went and got some more water from the sink.

We put the things in the fridge the frozen stuff in the freezer and the bars, rice and pasta in the cabinets. I went and put the bags back on the table we'd gotten them from. I got the vitaminwater down from the cabinet and opened it and sttarted drinking.

"hey so do you want to start unpacling your bed and clothes er I mean bed linens and stuff?" annabelle asked.

"no we have time. And besides I could use a break," I told her.

"yeah me too actually."

"ok."


	3. wed sept 5th, 2012

Mandy

It was wed. sept. 5th. alexa, rose, Hannah, lily, adam, jake, jessica, kate and I were all in the choir room for glee club auditions. It was 3 p.m. after school.

Mr. schue was at the front of the class and the rest of us were on the gray carpeted bleacher.

"Hi everyone and welcome to glee club rehearsal. I'm mr. schue for those who don't know. I also teach spanish. Glee club rehearsal is every day after school untill 4. We also do 3 shows a yr. in the fall, winter and spring. musicals I mean. Those include the rest of the school. The glee shows don't. The fall show we're doing is 'phantom'. Auditions are monday after glee club rehearsal. It'll be before Halloween. Oh we're also performing at the Halloween dance. The spring show's is 'delivery' which I don't think has ever been made into a stage production before this. Auditions are after Halloween. So yeah we'll be busy. If you're not in the show or you don't want to be that's ok you can still help w/ them. And we'll be doing one in the spring but I don't know what it'll be. Ok let's get started."

the new members from last yr, alexa, hannah, lily, rose, kate, adam and jake all auditioned. We had a few new embers from this yr. Including marley, kitty, jake. Marley seemed nice she was quiet since she didn't know anyone yet. Kitty didn't seem nice. And jake reminded me of puck.

After glee club auditions there was a fight in the hall. We heard it on our way out of the classroom. Some students weren't talking nice about marley's mom who as the lunch lady. And jake confronted them about it.

"jake classroom now," mr, schue said coming out into the hallway: "the rest of you you can't stay here."

kitty the went elsewhere ad as did everyone else but me and marley.

"mandy you comin?" adam who was 17 asked looking at me on his way down the hall.

"yeah hold on," I said.

"ok i'll be waiting in my car."

"ok."

I looked down at my phone getting a text from jessica who was 15.

'your house after?' she asked.

'yeah' I sent back.

'ok'.

I put my phone in my purse. The hall was quiet. Marley was crying.

"this is like what happened at my last school," she said.

"yeah people aren't always nice here," I said.

"mr. schue seems pretty nice."

"he is. I was new last yr. I'm mandy. Here," I said pulling pocket tissues out of my purse and giving them to her.

Marley took them.

"thank you. You have anything to drink?"

"what like liquor?"

"no I mean like. A beverage."

"oh no. but there's a drinking fountain somewhere around here er I mean a water fountain. And adam might have something in his car."

"oh. Uh like what?"

"soda."

"i'd really prefer juice which.i can probably get in the lunch room since my mom's the lunch lady and I have a key. Don't tell anyone."

"ok I won't. Do you have a way to get...to your mom?"

"well I usually just take the bus."

"um i'll ask adam if it's ok if we take you. Unless..."

"no actually that would be nice to be w/ people. Well nice people."

I smiled.

"you can keep the tissues btw. I have more."

"ok."

"you know where it is?"

"what? Oh the lunchroom."

"yeah."

"yeah I do."

"ok i'll um. Wait here."

"ok."

she left going to the stairs which would take her to the lunch room. There were about 1,000 students at the school and the lunchroom could only hold 400. the rest of us ate in classrooms or outside.

I texted jessica that i'd be a bit late to my house and to wait until I got there which was when i'd send her a text. Then I texted my dad and told him i'd be late. And then adam.

It was quiet in the hallway. Jake and mr. schue had been in there for awhile. I heard the door open someone go in and then close but didn't see who'd gone in. I went to my locker and got vitaminwater then came back and drank it. Still more quiet.

"well sounds like you have a lot of catching up to do so," I heard mr. schue say opening the door.

"yeah ," jake said.

"you comin?" the other guy said.

"no I have some work to do here so," mr. schue said.

"ok."

I turned towards the people. Jake and puck of all people came out of the classroom. So that was who'd gone in.

"omygod puck," I said.

"yeah mandy hey. Been awhile. How's...how are things?" he asked.

I stood and we hugged. He was 19 now.

"they're ok. Back for a visit or...?"

"yeah just for a visit. I see you've met my brother here."

"yeah auditions were earlier. How's LA?"

"ok. Yeah I just got back a wk. ago."

"oh."

"how's your family?"

"the same. I'll tell you more later."

"ok."

"where is she?" jake asked.

"oh she's um upstairs. I think she wants to be by her-scuse me," I said as I got a text from adam.

'it's ok', it read.

'ok i'll tell her,' I texted back.

"sorry that was adam," I turned back to the guys: "he's my boyfriend."

"ok well good to see you 2 are still together. Unless, it's not?" puck said.

"no we are and we're ok."

"ok."

"found anyone in LA?" I asked.

"no nothing serious anyway."

"oh well that's ok. Anyway what was i- oh right. So I think she wants to be by herself," I said to jake.

"oh ok."

"shouldn't be too much longer though."

"ok."

"so um do you have a ride back or...?"

"yeah um actually ouck's my ride. We were discussing that in the classroom a bit ago."

"ok and...uh...marley's going w/ me and adam."

"ok so well. Well nice meeting you mandy good audition," jake said.

"yeah you too."

"hey text me about doing something," puck told me: "or no maybe i'll text you. Um well someone will text someone."

"yeah ok," I said.

They left. And marley came back downstairs.

"hey sorry that took so long. I figured i'd get to know the layout of the school a bit more. And have juice."

"it's ok. I was new last yr. so."

"ok."

"ok so jake. Has a ride and you're riding w/ us."

"ok actually I want to pick up some stuff for my mom is it cool if we...?"

"go to the store yeah adam will probably be ok w/ it. And there's a store right near my aunt and uncle's which isn't to far from here."

"oh I don't want you to go to any trouble."

"no really it's not. do you need money or...um or not?"

"no my mom gave me some."

"ok well there's a safeway and a whole foods."

"oh safeway."

"ok."

"so what's adam like?" markey asked as we walked down the hall.

* * *

cheerleading which jessica was in ran from 3 – 4. glee was from 4 – 6 but w/ what happened after it had taken us an hr.. so we'd gone to my house between 7 and 8. we'd had dinner there. dinner had been from 7 – 8.

It was 8 p.m. Jessica and I were in my room. Louia was w/ cherie. The door was closed. We were sitting on my bed. It was quiet.

"um," she began, "there's something you should know. But you can't tell anyone. Not untill we're 18."

"uhm ok," I aid.

"I was actually planning to tell dianna this before I told you but I wanted to tell her in person and w/ her being away..."

"Right."

dianna was in college in new england.

"Over the summer my dad started. Hurting me. Verbally and. And physically. He's stopped for now."

"Oh wow."

I knew what that was like. I'd been hurt like that last yr. by my mom.

"Last yr. my mom um. She hurt me like that too. Most of the yr. louisa know, cherie know, adam…..um evan. Ahley. And by proxy dianna and Annabelle. I won't tell anyone you don't want me to but I think it would be a good idea for you to tell dinna which you're going to do anyway so."

"Right ok. No I will."

"I know."

"Who's Annabelle?"

"Oh she's ashley's cousin. she's lovely. She helped me well us a lot last yr. you'd like her. I don't think you've met her. she was at thanksgiving last yr."

"Wait. Was she the really pretty one, golden brown hair, small?" jessica asked.

I nodded: "yeah."

"Yeah she seems nice."

"Yeah she is."

"How do I get in touch w/ her?"

"um well you don't actually. You just show up at her place which if you're a friend of hers or a friend of her friend's she'll be ok w/."

"Oh."

"i'll go over there w/ you to meet her," I told jessica.

"Yeah ok. When?" she asked.

"Next sat."

"Yeah ok."

"Yeah i'll call her and let her know."

"Ok."

At that moment my sister lily walked by. She knocked on the door.

"Hey i'm going to be drinking you ladies want anything?" she asked us.

"um no," jessica said.

She wasn't old enough to drink nor did she want to at 15. I wasn't old enough either at 16 but I still drank. Adam was 17. Next yr. he'd get his own place.

"Yeah i'll have something," I said.

"Ok what?" lily asked.

"I don't know yet."

"ok."

We went downstairs.


	4. Chapter 44

It was 10 that night. Puck had texted me and we were now in my room.

"so wow. I haven't seen you since...well since may really," he said.

It was now sept. so it had been 3 months sine we'd last seen each other.

"yeah um i'm still in glee club which well you um probably figured from the auditions earlier," I replied.

"yeah."

"we have some new members. Including your brother apparently as you know."

"yeah um. It'd been awhile since i'd seen him. He filled me in on auditons so."

"oh. How's the pool cleaning going?"

"well actually that stopped since it's not summer anymore."

"oh."

"i'm not doing a whole lot right now which is why I came here. I had enough saved up."

"right. How long are you staying?"

"not longer than a couple wks."

"oh."

"i'm thinking of visiting ashley she still, in fl?"

"yeah."

"tom already visited her. And then the wk. after gavin, leo, eric and hannah visited. And then well I think mark and lacy are scheduled to visit but i'm not sure i'll check w/ ashley. I won't tell her you're here."

"ok.

"but when we were down thre helping her unpack and stuff annabelle asked when the glee people were coming. And ashley said after mark and them come so actually...i might not need to check w/ ashley if it's already been scheduled."

"right ok. So how's your family?" puckasked.

"ok about the same. Mom's...well she' same. Oh annabelle turned 25 in aug."

"i'd like to see her. She was always nice. Still living where she was?"

"yeah she was. And yeah."

"oh."

"although actually...next fri. I think dianna wants to see ashley. Er if you want to go w/ her. Maybe. Yeah i'll ask ashley about that and again not mention you're here."

"yeah ok."

"so hannah, kate, lily, rose, alexa, adam and jake and I are still in glee the other jake."

puck smiled.

"um. Hannah and that guy are still together. And alexa and tom are still together. And rebecca and evan. And kate and other jake. And i'm still w/ adam. Kate's doing a lot better she's been in remission for awhile but anna's not. when when she's in remission it's not for v. long."

"right I remember how scared ashley was for kate," puck said.

"although I think. Jessica's going to see annabelle at some point," I said.

"well it's ok. I can extend my stay. Also I just got here and really like I said I don't have much to do right now."

"ok. And jessica'll be there next sat."

"ok. How's jessica?"

"she's ok. Oh and louisa's still w/ uh cherie. They're still doin their thing."

"oh. How's pam? And marie have you heard from marie at all?"

"pam's ok. And no last I heard we hadn't."

marie was my sister who'd run away 2 yrs. Ago. We'd all been so busy that no one had tried to find her although dad had put in a report. I hadn't heard anything yet. We didn't talk much about her.

"oh," puck said.

"god it's so weird."

"what?"

"alexa, rose, hannah and lily are graduating this yr. Kate next."

"do they know what they want to do? Or like...?"

"well I know rose is going to england er london I think. And alexa and hannah are going to boston I think at some point hannah wants to go to greece as her family's from there. Hannah might go into art I don't know. I'm not sure where kate is ending up but I know she wants to be a nurse."

"oh wow."

"yeah."

"ya know rachel was in phantom. W/ uh chris' guy. And she was the one who told me about delovely."

"i'm not surprised she was w/ how talented she is."

"'yeah."

"so that's the first time delovely is being made into a that'll ."

"so who all is visiting ashley?"

"i thinnk chris might. And well you. And dianna. Chris might go the same time dianna's going. And they're coming for thanksgiving I think."

"actually...sorry to interrupt," puck said.

"no I was done," I said.

"ok. Well I was thinking...and I know I just got here and this isn't really fair to you."

"yeah but i'm used to it."

"yes but just cause it is doesn't mean it should be," he said quoting the movie australia.

"but yeah what?" I asked.

"if uh jessica isn't going to annabelle's until sat. then...i could go over there tonight and stay until um fri. and then either go back there when she's done or stay here. Er I mean if you're ok w/ me staying here. Though that doesn't give me much time..."

"yeah I am. And no it doesn't. And you should ask-"

"-your dad yes I know."

"ok."

"have you heard from lia at all?" puck asked referring to my friend from last yr.

"no no I haven't."

"i hope she's doing ok."

"yeah me too."

"well...if you'll excuse me. I'm going to talk to your dad about my-" puck began just as a knock came on the door.

"yeah?" I asked: "it's open."

"honey i'm going out for a bit maybe to the-" dad began.

He came into the room and saw puck: "well hey. It's been awhile how are you? How long are you here for good to see you."

"yeah you to mr. fit uh jesse I mean jesse."

"it's ok."

"yeah it has been. I'm ok just got here today. And not more than a couple wks. Though that might change."

"i thought I heard people talking," dad said.

"and how are you?" puck asked.

"i'm ok. Like I was about to tell mandy i'm going out for a bit probably to visit anna and...do a ride somewhere or have plans for tonight or...?"

"yeah actually. I was going to go to annabelle's to surprise her. Er for a surprise visit so."

"ok i'll take you. It's on my way anyway as the hosital's downtown."

"ok."

"so anyway. Yes mandy," dad said turning back to me: "i'm going to the hospital to visit anna as you just heard."

"yes," I said.

"and then i'll probably get something to eat."

"ok."

dad turned back to puck: "how long are you staying there?"

"untill fri."

"ok."

"i'll call if, I need a ride or um something."

"ok."

dad turned back to me: "so pam's downstairs."

"ok."

"alrite and i'll see you fri.," puck said.

"yeah you too," I said a little disappointed that i'd have to wait to see him.

"um actually I wanted to talk to you about that," puck told dad on their way down the hall.

"yeah?" dad asked.

"well I was thinking..."


	5. Chapter 555

We went intothe kitchen.

Alexa was at tom's, rose was out somewhere, hannah was w/ her friends, mom, dad and pam were at work and ashley was at her place. The only people who were here were adam, jake, kate, jessica, lily and I. Kate was outside w/ jake. I didn't know where adam was. Tin was 22,

"we have...wine, vodka, whiskey what do you want i'm having wine," lily asked.

"um I think. Vodka," I said going to the fridge and getting a bottle of green apple and opening it.

"ok. And i'm having wine," lily said.


	6. Chapter 75

Mandy

it was next mon. Last wk. we'd had auditions for the winter show. The shoe was grease. oMarley one of the new members got the lead. Later that day when we were walking to class I heard marley mutter to herself 'i'm too fat to fit into my costume'. She seemed upset by this. When I was out of the class during glee club rehearsal I put pocket tissues and starbucks water by her locker. When I was goint to the bathroom I heard kitty and mer when I went into the bathroom I hard kitty and marley talking in there.

"you know how to fix it right?" kitty asked her.

"um no fix what?" marley asked.

"the costume thingy."

"oh uh no..."

"i'll show you. Do this 3x a wk. and then you'll fit. How do you think I got so thin?"

"uh ok."

"if you doon't you won't be the lead anymore."

"oh. Well ok."

"here we can do it together."

I heard retching. It was a common misconception that bullimics lose weight by purging. No they actually gain weight by eating. Almost everyone gets that wrong. But I didn't say anything. Also this seems like a really private thing to be overhearing. So I left going bak to the classroom.

"marley coming?" mr. schue asked when I came in.

"yeah she and kitty will just be a minute."

"oh. ok."


	7. Chapter 76

Since bullimics don't lost weight by purging that meant either kitty was naturally thin or something else was going on. Neither marley or kitty was fat but marley was thinner than kitty


	8. Chapter 77

It was the next day lunch. Kitty and marley were sittig together but kitty wasn't eating. When marley asked her about it kitty snapped at her 'i'm just not hungry ok? Now if you'll excuse me'. Kitty got up and left the room.

I got up and also left the room. I wrote a note to marley and stuck it in her locker vents. Down the hall I saw kitty getting a bag out of her locker. I wondered what was in there. She went farther down the hall w/ it. I followed he r but stopped so she wouldn't think I was following her on purpose. The halls were quiet at this hr. as they were during glee rehearsal. After a few mins. I went down the hall in the direction kitty had gone. I went into the bathroom where I heard crunching. 'she's not the one who won't be able to fit into her costume. That's me. Well good thing i've made extras and hang them in my closet in different sizes. And they'll never know. Bc I made them myself'. After the crunching stopped it got quiet for a few mins. Then I heard retching.

So it was kitty who was bullimic. And she knew that the more they ate the more they gained in terms of weight.

I left going back to lunch so she wouldn't know what i'd witnessed.


	9. karen: wed sept 12th 1

Karen

It was wed. sept. 13th and I was going to my first karaoke night at a bar right by Annabelle's. I was meeting her there. I didn't think I'd sing this wk. no one knew I sang except for pam who'd hear me sing in paris caf s a long time ago. I hadn't heard from her in awhile. I was nervous and excited. I was in a long black skit, long sleeve black button up, black boots and my hair was braided. It was formal but casual and didn't make me appear too easy. I wasn't sure how the night would go but we'd find out.

I parked in the parking lot outside the bar and went in. I wasn't sure where to put my coat. a second after I saw Annabelle she called to me. I went over to her table.

"Hi where do I put my coat?" I asked.

"Oh right by mine. see to the left of the entrance?" she asked.

"That your big black coat?" I asked seeing one hung up.

"Yeah."

"ok I'll be right back. What do you want to drink?"

"I already have it soco."

"Oh so you do. Yes but I'm offering to buy it. And another one if you want."

"Oh ok yes thank you."

"Ok hold on."

"ok."

I went and hung my long black wool coat up next to hers then returned and sat next to her.

"Ok yeah I'll have 3 more," Annabelle told me.

3 soco damn that seemed like a lot but ok.

"Ok," I said.

"And what will you be having?" she asked.

"Wine. when doe the karaoke start?"

"9. "

"oh."

"and it ends at like 2. When the bar closes."

"oh right right."

"Are you singing tonight?"

"No not tonight."

"oh."

"Are you?" I asked her.

"Yeah."

I looked around and noticed how big the place was.

"This place is big," I commented.

"Yeah I know."

It was fairly quiet and hadn't gotten crowded yet. Or maybe it didn't seem so bc of how big the place was. The waitress came and took our order.

"I've been coming here for a yr.," Annabelle told me.

That's right she'd turned 25 back in aug.

"That's right happy belated. I'll make one of your drinks a birthday drink," I told her.

"thanks."

She smiled. she had a nice smile.

"You have a nice smile," I told her.

"Thank you."

She looked good in a thin black long sleeve v neck cardigan, black corduroys and black fur boots. They were cute and so was her hair in its bun. It made her look elegant.

"You look good. Your boots are cute and so is your hair it makes you look elegant," I told her.

"Thank you. Yeah they're new. I usually only wear my hair like this when I go to shows w/ my mom," she said.

"Oh how is your mom?"

"She's ok."

"oh."

"You look nice too."

"Thank you yeah I wasn't sure."

"No that's fine."

"So what's new since the last time I saw you?" I asked.

"um not a whole lot. Um. Oh I'm dating. We've been together almost a yr. in dec. it'll be. I don't know if he's coming tonight or not," she replied.

"oh ok. Wow."

"Beyond that nothing really."

"Hey talking of dates would it be ok if my girlfriend pam came w/ me one of these nights?"

"Yeah."

"ok."

It was 9:20 and the karaoke lady had just called Annabelle up to the stage. she walked up there all confident. The farther away from me she got the more I realised how small she was. I'd once been that small many yrs. ago. The music of 'new york state of mind' began. Annabelle stood there waiting smiling. When she began to sing I was surprised. I'd never heard he sing before. she was good. she wasn't the greatest vocally but that wasn't what mattered. Her emotions were what mattered. she was confident and had a good voice for blues. I sipped my wine easing into the song. It was over as quickly as it began.

When she came back to the table she was smiling and happy. she sat back down.

"Wow," I said: "you're I um wow. I've never heard you sing before. You're good," I told her.

"Rhank you."

she had some more of he soco.

She'd been the 5th person to go up. 5 more finished the round then the next one started. Again she was the 5th person. she sang 'living on a prayer' a good song. That round ended and the 3rd one began. she sang 'I want to know what love is'. after that round ended she stood holding her soco.

"Hey so I'm going to get some air. There's a smoking balcony behind you," she told me.

"Ok," I said.

"I won't be too cold."

"ok."

she left. I could tell something was bothering her but I didn't push it. I actually didn't know a whole lot about her other than she was cute and small and pretty. And sweet and apparently had a good voice. I was getting hungry and wondered if she wanted something to eat. I wondered hat was good here. The bar seemed quieter and emptier w/o her in it even though it was slowly starting to fill up. I felt lonely. I didn't know anyone other than Annabelle and even her I didn't know that well. It was nice of her to invite me.

The waitress came by again. she was hot thin and blonde.

"Hi are you doing ok can I get you anything else?" she asked.

My wine glass was half empty. A I looked at it I realised I hadn't arranged for a ride back to my house.

"No I'm good for now," I aid.

"ok."

she left.


	10. Chapter 5

When the next round started annabelle came back.

"hi," she said sitting.

"hi um im hungry do you want something to eat?" I asked her.

"um ok."

"what's good here?"

"idinno I usually only get drinks. But they do have fries...burgers that kindof thing."

"oh. Um yeah maybe fries."

"ok."

she had more of her soco.

"thanks for coming. So i'm not here by myself."

"yeah," I said: "i haven't seen you since last thanksgiving."

"yeah wow it's been that long."

"are you coming this yr.?"

"yeah I think so."

"ok."


	11. sat sept 15th: alexa

alexa

It was the night of Wed. Sept. 12th. Hannah and i'd stopped by Karen's house for dinner. We saw evan and Rebecca Jake and kate sitting on the sofa in the living room.

"Hey," I said.

"We're here for dinner," Hannah informed them.

"Yeah we figured as much. It's about to be that time," evan said.

"Hello good to see you ladies," Rebecca who'd always been nice said.

"Thank you you too," Hannah said.

"Karen's at the bar and Jesse's in the kitchen," Jake informed us.

"Ok," I said.

I heard retching from upstairs and knew it couldn't be Kate as she was right here in the living room.

"Anna's?" I asked.

"Upstairs in her room reading," evan told me.

oh.

"Oh. I'll go check on them," I said.

"Ok."

I went upstairs and down the hall to the bathroom door which was closed. I knocked on it.

"um?" I asked: "it's alexa."

"Oh good. Evan here?" my sister Mandy replied.

"Yeah he and Rebecca are downstairs Hannah and I came by for dinner."

"Oh. Where's Adam?"

"i'm. Not sure I just got here myself."

"Oh."

She coughed.

"I don't feel good," Mandy informed me.

"Ok what's wrong?"

"I just told you!"

"Look I was the one who came by to help w/ dinner so the least you could do is-"

"Don't yell at me."

"I'm not."

"and i'm the one who doesn't feel good, so."

"Hey what's wrong?" Adam asked coming down the hall and appearing at my side.

I looked at him: "idinno she won't tell me. All I know is she doesn't feel good."

"Honey?" Adam asked Mandy: "what's wrong? I know you don't feel good but what specifically doesn't?"

"My. I'm sick."

"Yes we know that," I said.

"How, exactly?" Adam asked.

"i'm hurting. And nausous."

This didn't sound good.

"She's probably dehydrated. There a cup in there?" Adam asked.

"Yeah but I'm too tired to get it."

"Ok so she is. Alexa you go tell Jesse she needs to go to the hospital. If Karen arrives at any point in time here soon tell her too," Adam told me.

"Ok i'm on it."

I went down the hall and downstairs and into the living room. Right when I got there in came Karen followed by lily.

"Karen," I said rushed.

She looked at me, out of it. She was drunk again.

"um. What? Er yes?" she asked blinking.

"Mandy needs to go to the hospital she's dehydrated."

"Ok I'll go upstairs and get her," Karen said suddenly sober.

"I'll tell Dad," evan said standing.

"and Reva will be...?" Rebecca asked him talking about their daughter.

"w/ Sara."

"Ok."

"We'll go tell Sara," Jake and Kate said leaving the room.

"Ok," I said.

"and I'll um. Stay here until we go," lily said: "even though. I just got here. Hey where's Tom?"

"He should be here in a bit."

"Ok."

Reva was a combined name. She'd been named for Rebecca and evan. She'd be 1 in the spring I know they wanted another one but were waiting a bit.

Tom and I also wanted kids but we were also waiting until I finished college.

I wondered where louisa and cherie were.


	12. Chapter 722

Alexa

when we got mandy checked into the hospital she was taken to a room and hooked up to an iv. We were all sitting around in the waiting room.

"wow," rebecca said.

"yeah,i said.

"it's not th e the first time she's been like this. It's just the first time in awhile," evan said.

We looked at him.

"we. Well yall remember lia?"

we nodded remembering mandy's friend lia from last yr.

"yeah whatever happened to her?" hannah asked.

"she um. She couldn't handle it so she left."

"oh. I hope she's ok wherever she is."

"yeah anyway. There were times, when mandy would get dehydrated and there was no one else around. And lia would hellp her through that. And sometimes I did."

"wow."

"it was, pretty scary," kate said who'd only seen her sister like this a few times.

"i know hon," jake said looking at her.

Adam and our parents were elsewhere in the hospital.

When kate said it was scary I thought back to what adam had told me. He told me mandy had been confused and dizzy her breathing had increased. And that it had started yesterday.

"who's staying w/ her?" jake asked.

"we'll take turns. I'll stay w/ her tonight since I was the one who found her though she might only just be here tonight. But even after that she'll need fluids. Alexa will you?" adam said looking at me.

"yeah tom and I will make sure she gets some," I said.

"ok."

"and then when you get tired of doing that evan and I will step in," rebecca said.

"ok," evan said not arguing.

"alrite now who's hungry? I know I am," tom said standing.

"me too," lily replied.

She looked at adam: "you're ok here?"

"yeah," he said: "i'll tell jesse and mrs. b about what we talked about."

"ok."

we left going back to the house to have dinner which had been interrupted. When we got back jesse started on dinner.


	13. Kate: mom

Wed. sept. 19th

Kate

it was wed. I was in my room sleeping. I heard the door open. In came the smell of perfume and alcohol. A hand grabbed my arm.

"get up," it said.

It was my mom.

"um why?" I asked.

I didn't move quickly when I first got up. My mom got impatient and threw me on the floor. She then left.


	14. fri sept 14t: school trip announcement

mandy

it was fri. sept. 13th

we were all in the glee room for rehearsal. mr. schue was standing at the front of the room.

"now, just like we did last yr. We're going on 2 trips, one being international," he told us.

"oh wow where?" I asked.

"well new york again. And paris."

"and who's paying for this?" amber asked.

"well mainly rachel's dads."

"wow that's nice of them," puck said.

Rachel smiled.


	15. karen: wed sept 19th

karen

it was wed. sept. 19th. Thanksgiving was more than a month away. My side of the family was coming as was jesse's side. Ashley and her friends were having their own thanksgiving and then she was going over to her cousin's. In dec. the glee club was having their winter show, the school was putting on a show and they were having their winter dance. I was at the bar just like i'd been last wk. I again wasn't singing tonight but annabelle probably would be. I spotted her at a table. She was again in all black and pearls. She had on a pink miniskirt a corset thing and boots.

"Hi wow aren't you cold?" I asked her.

"Hi good to see you well I have 2 coats," she answered indicating them.

"Oh ok and you too."

"You singing tonight?"

"No you?"

"Yeah."

oh.

"oh. You having more soco?"

"Yeah but I got cash, so."

"Well it's the least I can do given you were nice enough to invite me," I told annabelle.

She smiled: "wow thanks."

"Maybe some day pam and I will be. We've been together since HS," I said randomly.

"oh wow."

"Will be what?" annabelle asked.

"Married," I replied.

"oh."

"yeah. Yeah it used to be just the twins, evan and I. And then we were given rose when I was in HS. I had to hide her away from my parents. Then in college hannah. And then ashley."

"Yeah I know ashley told me."

"Oh."

"I'm going to go hang up my coat. Order some wine for me. Thank you," I told annabelle.

"ok."

I went and hung up my coat


	16. karen: thurs oct 11th

Karen

it was thurs. oct. 10th and i'd just pulled into a parking space by my house. Karaoke last night had been interesting. I was drunk. I went to the front door fumbled w/ my key and let myself in. to the lit living room.

"did you just drive here?" jesse asked.

He was sitting on the sofa.

"um well yeah. How else was I going to get back?"

"well you could've called."

"oh. Well that hadn't occurred to me."

"oh."

"are you drunk?" pam asked.

"no i'm sober as a bear. Yes i'm drunk. That's what people do at bars. They drink."

"not everyone. But you...you drove here. Drunk. From the bar."

"yeah I know."

"omygod karen. We knew you'd been doing this and we were hoping you'd stop but we don't think that'll happen. We don't want to stop you from going cause we know how much you like it. We don't want you driving back drunk."

"what the hell is the matter w/ you? You could've hurt somebody," jesse said.

"well I didn't ok?"

"ok from now on you walk. Until we figure something else out. Someone will get your car later. Pam will drive you to work today cause I don't entirely trust you."

"but I..." I was confused and tired and drunk.

"we'll talk about it later. Pam make sure you get her keys," jesse said.

"ok."

jesse left.

"give me your keys and then we'll get you in bed," pam said.

"i ok. Why is he punishing me?" I said.

"he's not actually you just don't see that right now."


	17. karen: thurs oct 18th

Karen

It was thurs. oct. 17th and the bar was closed. I'd gone to karaoke last night. It was the first time I sang at karaoke. It went well. I sang a cute light song. It had been awhile since i'd sung so I wasn't sure how it'd go. My family knew i'd been going. Each time I saw annabelle there. And each time she sang. Last night had gone well. It was interesting as usual even though this only my 5th time there. Tonight i'd go to milo's. And then next wed. pam would come w/ me to both places.

I was going to make the long walk from where the bar was at on oneida to our house up on 7th. Just 2 blocks from where annabelle's parents lived. I'd driven to karaoke drunk and at some point someone would have to come get my car. I wondered how long it would take to get to my house. It took 15 mins. To drive there. The morning was dark and cold. And quiet. I had my long coat and boots on but I was also drunk which made it colder than it actually was. It was 2 a.m. As I walked up oneida to leetsdale which I knew would take me to 1st it started to snow. It had already snowed this winter. The snow made the world brighter than it actually was since the lampost lights reflected off it. I knew from talking w/ her this was something annabelle would take a photo of.

Halloween had gone well. As had my daughters' shows. Although I hadn't spent much time w/ my daughters other than anna i'd seen mandy's new friend lia around the house. We'd briefly met. Mandy and ashley's friends came by a lot other than pansy. I'd liked her she was always so polite. Her mom was a few yrs. Older than I was. I think the reason she never came by was bc she didn't want to eat. I'd watched her mom margo go through the same thing growing up. I had gone through it too so I related to both her and mandy although mandy and I never talked about it. No the main person I talked to was anna. And the hospital staff. The other night when I got in from work anna had needed to go to the hospital. Alexa was put out that I wasn't there for anna. But I wasn't going to miss work. Though I had last yr. And now I had a whole lot of it to make up for. I missed it for kate last yr. I was the one who made the most money. I'd been knocking mandy down but she was so easy to knock down. Well not as easy now that she'd gained the weight back. She didn't know this but when I was up at night drinking in the house I heard her purging. Or even if she did know we never talked about it. I didn't feel I had to be as careful w/ mandy. Yes she was sick but she was also old enough to take care of herself.

I checked my phone. It was 2:20 a.m. And I was now on leetsdale which was a long street. I knew the driving directions which I used to help me now. I'd keep going straight and then hit alameda and colorado go into 1st which was in cheryr creek. I'd turn right when I got to the mall and walk the 7 blocks to my house. I kept walking.

Even though I wasn't careful w/ mandy I was w/ her friend pansy although they were the same age. Pansy was still in the hospital she had been since sept. i'd visited her most every day after I got to my house and had dinner. Then on wed. I got ready for karaoke. Her aunt vanessa had flown in and was staying at pansy's. She was a nice lady. A lot warmer than I was. I still don't know why pam hadn't told me about pansy. And I was still put out by jesse's not having told me before he told mandy. Although he was right she did deserve to know and I wouldn't've told her


	18. karen: wed oct 24th

Karen

it was wed. oct. 24th and I was at my house getting ready for karaoke. I'd already gotten dressed and was now putting on my mascara in the bathroom w/ a cup of green apple on the counter beside me. The bathroom door was locked. We had a bathroom downstairs that people could use. I liked how still and quiet it was in the bathroom. I'd been drinking since 5 p.m. It was now 7. and I planned to drink until I got back which would be at 3. then i'd sleep for 4 hrs. and then start my day all over again. I'd gone to work then to visit pansy then i'd had dinner and now here I was getting ready. It had been a long day. I'd drive to karaoke and maybe tom. Call someone to come pick me up though I didn't know yet.


	19. evan: thurs oct 25th

Evan

It wa early morning thurs. sept. 20th. It was 2:40. My mom had just gotten into the back of my car. The bar had closed 40 min. ago.

"music ok?" I asked my mom who smelled like alcohol.

"I um what? I hear music…someone is up next," she replied.

she was either really out of it or really drunk.

"ok," I said annoyed.

sInce I hadn't gotten a clear answer I decided to turn on the radio. The night was quiet. When I got to my mom's it was 3:20. I waited untill she got inside then drove back to my place.

"why do you smell like alcohol? Have you been drinking?" Rebecca asked me when I climbed into bed next to her.

"sorry no I had to pick my mom up from the bar. she was drunk. You were asleep I think when I left. I left you a note," I aid.

"oh. This is the 3rd time. We have a baby we cant keep doing this. Well. You cant. Well er I mean you shouldn't."

"I know. she does this again and i'll talk to my dad about it and maybe he can take over. My sisters are old enough to stay at the house by themselves."

"ok. But what if anna gets sick again and your dad's not at the house?"

Oh good point I hadn't thought of that.

"um. I don't know."


	20. ashley: fri nov 9th

Ahley

It was Fri. Nov. 6th. I'd jut arrived in Denver from Fl which was where I was currently living and in college. I was back for the holidays until Jan. 7th which was when I left for fl. I was hungry. It was 5 p.m. Denver time which meant it was 7 p.m. fl time. I'd eaten 2 hrs. ago but it had been a long flight. Lila was w/ me. We were at the baggage claim.

I pulled out my phone and called Jesse.

"Yeah hello?" he asked.

"Hi guess who's in town for the holiday?" I aid.

"omygod. Are you at the airport now?"

"Yeah. And I brought my roommate lila. She's nice, quiet."

"Yeah I remember you telling me about her. Do you want me to pick you up or .?

"Yeah."

"Ok and we'll go out to dinner somewhere. Or we could have dinner here."

"um I don't know."

"Ok."

"btw lavander's coming for thankgiving."

"Oh ok."

We hung up.

"Lavander?" Lila asked looking at me.

"My grandmother. She's English. She's really nice," I told her.

"Oh."

"Now I'm, going to call my brother. And then my cousin. And then puck."

As I called my brotherLlila's phone rang.

"Hello?" she asked answering it.

"Hey guess who's back?" I said when my brother answered the phone.

"Oh wow. Hi. Honey Ashley's in town," evan called to Rebecca.

"Tell her I said hi," Rebecca called back.

"She said hi."

"Yeah I know. I heard," I said smiling.

"Oh. So when did you get in? and how was your flight?"

"Just now. And long. I'm at the airport."

"oh. You hungry?"

"Yeah Dad er I mean Jesse says he want to go out to dinner. Or we could all have it there."

"Yeah that might be easier cause of the baby. That way we can watch it. You know Rebecca new mom and all," evan told me.

I could tell he was smiling. I smiled too.

"Yeah I do," I aid.

"Ok well we'll see you at the house."

"Ok."

We hung up.

I then called Annabelle and told her the same thing.

"I thought I heard my name," I heard a voice behind me say.

I turned around and there was Puck.

"omygod. Hi omygod. It's good to see you. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well I heard Dianna and Rachel were coming in and I wanted to see them. Oh and Chris of course. And Tina. And everyone. And now here you are," he told me.

He and Chris had been in a relationship 2 yrs. ago.

"Yeah here I am."

We hugged.

"Oh sorry this is my roommate Lila," I introduced.

"Hi nice to meet you," Lila said.

"Yeah you too," puck said: "where you from?"

"ca."

"Oh wow. That's funny cause I just moved back from l.a. 2 wk. ago."

"Oh wow. And before that where were you?"

"um here. Then Ohio. Then um. New york. Then Texas."

"Oh."

"Wow you still where you were?" I asked.

"No got my own place. I think it's in the building you used to live in actually," Puck replied.

"Oh."

"Do you ladies need a ride or .?"

"No Jesse said he'd either take us out to dinner or we'd have it there. Which might be easier for my brother. And Rebecca. I don't think you've met Rebecca."

"No wait no actually I have. Yeah briefly. 2 yrs. ago."

"Oh."

"So what are you doing these days?" Puck asked as we waited for our luggage

"um well remember Ben?" I asked.

Puck nodded: "yeah."

"We broke up back in June."

"Oh why?"

"Oh we didn't want to do the long distance thing."

"Oh. Ok."

"Yeah so now I'm in college down in fl."

"Oh wow."

"If you'll excuse me ..I'ma call Ben. And then Jesse."

"Sure go ahead."

I called Ben and told him the same thing I'd told Annabelle and Jesse. Then I called Jesse.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi so I don't know if evan told you or not but he think it'd be easier if we all had dinner at the house cause of. His family situation," I said.

"Oh that's fine."

"And when you said we're all going out to dinner who did you mean? cause I jut ran into Puck and apparently Dianna, Rachel, Santanna and Chris are arriving at some point, so."

"Oh well that's fine. You know your friends and their friend are always welcome. It'll be a lot of pasta though. Or pizza. Or both. No but that's fine."

"Ok."

We hung up.

"What family situation?" puck asked.

"I'll tell you later," I replied.

"Ok."

"Hey do you still smoke?"

"Um. Yeah."

He turned to Lila who was now off the phone.

"You smoke?" he asked he.

I smiled. It was nice that he made an effort to include her even though she was a bit standoffish.

"um. Pot or cig?" she asked.

"Pot."

"Oh. No."

"You drink?

"I have back in high school. But I um. No not regularly."

"Oh."

Lila and I waited for our bags.

"What color's yours?" I asked her.

"Purple. And yours?" she asked.

"Black."

"Oh. So how do you know him?"

"Oh from back in high school. Glee club. Do you sing?"

"Not, really around people but yeah a bit. sometimes."

"Oh."

She reminded me of Lia a friend of Mandy's. Quiet thin small. Standoffish but nice. I wondered what happened to her. I made it a point to ask Mandy when I had the chance.

"Wow you. You look lovely Dianna," I heard Puck say from behind us.

I knew who he was talking to.

"Thank you. This is my boyfriend George," Dianna said politely.

"Hi I'm Puck. Friend of dianna's."

"Hey nice to meet you."

"Yeah you too. Help you w/ your bag?"

"No George has got them but thank you."

"Oh."

"Another friend from the club?" Lila guessed.

"Yeah. And Rachel, Santanna and Chris are too. Puck and Rachel dated for awhile and then Dianna and puck dated. Oh and Chris and puck dated 2 yrs. ago. Dianna and I used to live in the same building before she moved to. Wherever it is she's living now. The other 3 moved to the city," I told her.

"Oh."

"Yeah. The only other people you'll meet are my glee teacher Mr. Schue, his girlfriend Miss Pillsbury. And Karen's girlfriend Pam. My sister Mandy's boyfriend Adam um. Louisa's girlfriend cherie. Kate's boyfriend Jake. Hannah's boyfriend Eric their friends Gavin and Leo and maybe their other friends. This is the first I'm hearing of George."

"Oh."

At that moment our bags arrived. We got them off the thing and onto the floor. I heard puck, Dianna, George, Rachel and another guy talk behind us.

" 'scuse me," I heard a guy to my left say.

"Oh sorry am I in your way?" I asked.

"A bit yeah."

I looked to my left and saw a tall dark haired blue eyed guy in black pant, shoes and a long wool coat standing. I stepped out of the way.

"um. Hi. I'm Ashley," I told him: "and this is my roommate Lila."

"Nice to meet you both. I'm George Dianna's guy," he told us.

"You too," Lila said.

"So how do you know Dianna?" he asked getting 2 bags off the luggage thing.

"Oh from high school. Glee club actually. And you?" I asked.

"From college. Yale."

"Oh wow."

"Yeah."

We all got our bags and went to my house.


	21. when

When we got to my house we came in and put our stuff in the living room out of the way. Mandy, Louisa, cherie, Jake, Jessica, Kate and Anna were in the living room sitting on the sofa.

"Hey where's Dad?" I asked Mandy when I saw her.

"In the kitchen making pasta. And hi wow good to see you," she answered.

"Oh. And you too how's school how's the club?"

"Ok. We just finished our fall show last month. How's college?"

"Ok."

"So how long are you back for?"

"untill Jan. 4th."

"Mom's at the bar," Mandy informed me.

"oh. As usual," I said.

"Yeah um jen….Jennifer and Pam, evan and Rebecca are getting pizza."

"Oh wow that sounds good."

"Yeah."

Puck stepped forward.

"Hey," he said to Mandy.

"You remember Puck," I told Mandy.

"Yeah hi," she said smiling and standing.

"Good to see you."

"Yeah you too."

"I like your house," Lila told me looking around.

"Thank you. This ismy roommate Lila," I told Mandy.

"Hi nice to meet you I'm Mandy her sister," Mandy said.

"Yeah you too."

"I like it too," Paul said.

"Thanks."

Paul introduced himself to my siblings, cherie and Jake.

"Hey where are the drinks?" George said after meeting my siblings, cherie and Jake.

"um well you should talk to my dad about that," I told him.

"Ok."

He went into the kitchen.

"Anything I can do to help?" Chris asked me.

"um I. don't know. But my dad would," I told him.

"Ok."

He also went into the kitchen.

"Adam, Tom, your other sister and their parent are coming by tonight," cherie informed me.

"Ok."

Dianna looked at me.

"Your dad will let us drink here right?" she asked.

"um yeah long as he knows about it. It hasn't been that long since you were last here," I replied.

"I know. I just idk figured I'd ask."

"Ok."

She also went into the kitchen w/ Rachel following. Jessica followed them. Santanna and puck sat down in the living room. Lila stood there awkwardly.

"So how was your flight?" cherie asked.

She'd always been nice to me.

"Ok. I forgot how cold it gets here," I told her: "have you met santanna and Puck?"

"um yeah briefly. 2 yrs. ago."

"Oh that's right."

"Hey good to see you. Cherie right?" puck told her.

"Yeah. And yeah you too."

"Is Ben coming by?" Jake asked.

"idinno he didn't say anything one way or the other," I replied.

"oh."

"Hey idinno if I told you but I'm in glee this yr. w/ Mr. Schue. He's nice. And Mandy. And the others," Kate informed me.

"oh wow. Righton. Yeah he is."

"What do you think?"

"So far I like it. It's a lot of rehearsal though. I hope you'll come to our winter show."

"Yeah I'll be there. I'm not leaving untill Jan. 4th, so."

"I want to go too," Santanna who hadn't spoken told Kate.

"ok I'll talk to Mr. Schue about the tickets."

"How's middle school?" I asked Anna who was in her 2nd yr. of it.

"Ok. It's hard adjusting to all the um. Change," she told me embarassed to be talking about her period in front of everyone.

"Yeah I get that."

I made a note to text her about this when I got the chance.

"Any news from Marie?" I asked.

"No still nothing," louisa informed me.

"She'd be 16 by now right?"

"Yeah my age. Wow that's weird."

Marie had up and left almost 2 yrs. ago. When she was 14.

"I'll take over," I heard Chis say to someone in the kitchen.

"Ok thanks," my dad replied.

He came out of the kitchen. When he saw me he smiled.

"Hey, Ashley. Wow good to see you even though you told me you were coming. How are you how was your flight? And how's fl. And all that?"

We hugged.

"Well hungry. It was ok fl.' nice. Warm college is ok."

"Yeah the pizza should be here in a few."

"Ok."

He noticed puck and santanna.

"Hey good to see you it's been a few months," he told puck.

"Yeah you too yeah it has. Yeah I think august was the last time," puckk said.

"Yeah it was. Even though you moved back here not too long ago I never see you."

At that point dad noticed santanna.

"Hey good to see you. You're in new york?"

"Yeah you too. Yeah I am. It's as cold there as it is here," she said.

"Yeah I forgot how cold it was here," I said: "I brought my winter coat though."

"I see which you're still wearing."

"Oh. Right."

santanna, puck and I took off our coats and put them in the linen closet.

"Much better," I said.

Dad went over to Lila.

"That's my roommate," I told him.

"Hey I'm Mr. Fitzgerald Ashley's dad. Please call me Jesse," dad introduced.

"Hi um nice to meet you," Lila said.

"Yeah you too. What do you want to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"We have alcohol, soda, water, milk, juice. Oh and tea bottled and boxed."

"Where's the kitchen?"

"Right through there."

Lila made her way into the kitchen.

"Well she seems. Nice," dad said.

"Yeah she's a bit awkward."

"and clearly independent."

"Yeah just like me."

"We have drinks," Rachel said coming out from the kitchen holding 4 wine glasses.

She set them down on the coffee table.

"And wine," Dianna said following w/ 2 wine bottles which she set on the coffee table.

"and we got whiskey," Paul said: "fireball and soco."

"Oh good whiskey," Santanna said quickly standing.

Paul set the bottles down on the coffee table.

"We'll have to get glasses for those," I said.

" 'scuse me," dad said going back into the kitchen.

"I'll get the coats. Ashley is there another closet for them cause I don't know if they'll fit in the one in here," Paul asked.

It took me a minute to realise he meant Dianna, Rachel, Chris', George's and his coats.

"Yeah in the guest room. Which is by the living room to the right of the front door if you're lookin at it," I directed him.

"Ok thanks."

Paul went back into the kitchen to get the coat.

"I'll get the luggage," puck said.

He stood and got it and went into the guest room where Paul was. dad brought out 4 shot glasses. He set them in the coffee table then went back into the kitchen for more. Paul and puck came back out into the living room and then into the kitchen.

Cherie went to the linen closet and got out 2 towers of plastics cups. She put them on the coffee table. she looked around the room.

"Ok I think. since we have so many people we'll need to get the big table from the guest room and put it in here. Also do you have another table for the drinks?" she asked.

"Yeah the card tables are in the guest room," I told her.

"Ok."

She went into the guest room.

Paul and puck came back out into the living room. They set the shot glasses on the coffee table.

"Wow it's getting crowded," Paul said meaning the table.

"Yeah cherie just went int the guest room to get card tables," I told him.

"oh. Ok."

"Also we'll need the big table for in here since there are so many people."

"Ok I know where it is," puck said.

They went to the guest room.

"and it's back in there we go," Paul said on their way.

"George come and help them get the big table," Dianna called to him.

"Ok," he said.

He came out from the kitchen and went into the guest room.

"Hey sorry about George he's. a bit antisocial and also really likes whiskey," Dianna told me.

"Oh. Yeah I'm a bit bothered by that. Thanks," I said acknowledging her apology.

Cherie came back out w/ 2 card tables and set them in the back of the living room. She moved the bottle of alcohol and plastic cup tower onto them then came back and got the wine glasses. she came back a 3rd time and got the shot glasses. she lined the glasses up in front of the bottle and poured hesrelf a shot of whiskey.

"Wow thanks," I told her.

"You're welcome glad to be of help," she said after taking a shot.

"Now," she said setting the glass down on the coffee table: "we need to move the sofa back so we have more room for the table."

santanna stood.

"I'll help," Dianna said coming over to us.

Louia, Kate, Jake and Anna got up off the sofa. Rachel didn't do anything.

She, Santanna, cherie and I moved the sofa back.

"You want a drink?" Jake asked Kate from the card table.

"No and you shouldn't either," she told him.

"No I'm not going to I just wondered if you wanted one."

"Oh."

"What do you want love?" cherie asked her girlfriend.

"Whiskey shot," louia replied.

"Ok. Ashley you?"

"Wine. I'll get it," I said going over to the card table and pouring myself a glass of merlot.

Cherie poured louia a shot of whiskey. Antanna also had whiskey. I heard noises in the kitchen and wondered what Chris was doing in there.

We stood out of the way of the big table that Paul, George, dad and puck were bringing in. They set it in the middle of the room. George went back into the kitchen as did dad. Paul and puck went and poured themselves some drinks.

"Hey do you have beer?" puck asked.

"Yeah we have…well I don't know actually um we I know we have guiness . Oh we have jack daniels in the kitchen. And soda bring that out too if you're going in," I told him.

"Ok."

And back into the kitchen he went.

I went over to Paul.

"Ya know. I think you're really nice," I told him.

"Well thank you. I think you're nice too. And cherie seems nice," he told me.

"Yeah she is. You should meet my cousin Annabelle she's one of the nicest people I know."

"I'd like to. Dianna what do you want to drink?"

"um wine," she replied.

"Ok Rachel you?" Paul asked her.

"I'll also have wine," she replied.

"Ok."

He poured them each a glass of wine and brought it over to them then went into the kitchen.

"um wine. But I'll have it after I'm done cooking," I heard chris say.

"Ok," Paul said.

He came back out of the kitchen and poured Chris a glass of wine. Puck followed him carrying 2 6 packs of guiness. He went back into the kitchen and brought back 2 bottles of dr. pepper then went back in and came back out w/ root beer. On his 3rd trip out from the kitchen he had coke. Then cranberry juice. Then jd and vodkka.

"We, are going to need more tables," he said and went back into the guest room.

Chris came back into the living room w/ a stack of plates.

"I'll help," cherie said going over and taking some from him.

"Oh well thank you," he told her.

He had 4 and she had 4. They set them around the table and then went back into the kitchen and came back out w/ more plates which they set around the table. Cherie went back into the kitchen and got 8 more which she set around the table. Then she went back and got 4 more. The table seated 20 comfortably and we had 23 people.

"um," cherie said thinking about this.

"Oh we don't mind squeezing," Jake told her.

"Ok great."

She went back into the kitchen and got 5 plates. Which she set around the table. That made for 25 places if Tom and Jennifer came.

Cherie went back into the kitchen and came back out w/ 2 bottles of parmesan. She poured herself more whiskey.

"I'm so hungry," I said sitting on the sofa by Paul.

"Yeah me too. I hope the pizza gets here soon. Or the pasta's done soon," he said.

"Well dad's been cooking it since 5 so it shouldn't be too long."

"So where are you from?"

"Oh well I was born in new orleans then moved to new york and then here. And you?"

"ct."

"Oh."

"How do you know Rachel?"

"From school. Actually from glee. And you?"

"We just met in college."

"Oh."

"Paul are you chatting up my pretty friend here?" Rachel said coming over w/ her glass of wine.

"Yes love but you know you're the only one for me that I. only have eyes for you," he replied.

She giggled drunkenly.

"mmm I like being a bee," she said.

She meant she was starting to get a buzz.

"Tou are so cute," he told her.

Puck came into the living room w/ the card table which he set next to the other one and set the bottle on. He then took to drinking.

Paul, Dianna and I had wine. Puck, antanna, cherie and louia had whiskey.

At that moment the door opened and in came evan, Rebecca and rose.

"ooh I smell food. Hi Ashley," rose said when she saw me.

"Yeah Chris and dad are making it. Hi honey," I said.

I gave my wine glass to puck stood went to my sister and hugged.

"Good to see you," I told rose.

"Yeah you too. You're back for the holidays?" she asked.

"Yeah and chris, Rachel, puck, dianna. Antanna."

"Oh."

Evan and I hugged as did Rebecca and I.

"What no baby?" I asked.

"She's w/ Sara," evan explained meaning Jesse's mom.

"oh. Ok."

Rose hung up her coat.

"Ooh wine," she said going over to it.

"Now I don't want any drinking tonight," Rebecca told evan.

"But honey…" he began.

"Well we don't know if we're staying here or our place. I want us to leave early so we can be there for the baby."

"Honey that's why we left her w/ Sara."

"Yeah I know."

I smiled finding it nice that Rebecca was still a nervous mother.

"Also since we're trying. I don't want alcohol in my system when we. Um yeah. so if you kiss me and you've had a drink. Um yeah."

"Ok."

Evan didn't sound pleased about this.

"anyway hi," I said when they were done.

"Hi," Rebecca said.

They asked me the same question cherie had and I gave the same answers. They then went into the kitchen. I was halfway done w/ my first glass of wine as were dianna and Paul. Rachel was already on her 2nd.

Hannah, her guy Eric and Hannah's parents came in. We exchanged hellos they hung up their coats. While Hannah had some wine we all talked. They also asked me the same questions cherie had and I gave the same answers.

Then lily, her mom lacy, alexa, Tom and Jennifer came in. Again they hung up their coats got something to drink and we talked. Again I was asked the same questions cherie had and I again gave the same answers.

After everyone came in we at around, had drink and talked. I was on my 2nd glass of wine Rachel was still working on her. Hannah was still on her 1st. Alexa had whiskey while Jennifer, lacy, Mark and raven had wine.

The pasta was done by then but the sauce was being cooked so we had awhile to wait.

We were all sitting around talking and drinking when the doorbell rang.

"Oh. We're not expecting anyone," louisa said.

Cherie went to see who it was.

"Ashley I think it's for you," she told me.

I got up off the sofa w/ my wine glass. I went to the front door unlocked and opened it. There stood Ben my ex who I'd broken up w/ 2 yrs. ago back in h school. At the time I'd been 17 and he was 18 graduating at the end of the yr. we broke up bc we didn't want to do the long distance thing. We'd talked a few time over the pat yr. exchanged emails and phone calls but I hadn't seen him in a yr. even though it'd been awhile we'd been on goods term ever since we broke up.

I was really suprised to see him. I took a sip of wine then handed my wine glass to cherie who took it.

"omygod hi!" I said to Ben smiling.

"um. Hi. It has been forever," he told me.

"I know it has. Come in come in out of the cold."

He came inside.


	22. Chapter 15

Ashley

"so you're in college?" ben asked going over to the drinks table and getting a drink.

"yeah," I said coming w/ him.

"do you want something?" he asked.

"i already have one but thank you."

"oh. Right so you do."

"yeah in college in fl. It's warm there I llike it. I'm taking sociology, math, english and modern dance."

"oh wow."

"yeah other than that I don't do a whole lot. Well. I go to the store a lot. And cvs I like cvs."

"we have cvs here too."


	23. shots, drunkrachel, shoes

It was 8:20 p.m. we'd finished dinner 20 min. ago. Lacy, mark, raven, evan and Rebecca had all gone back to their places of residence. Paul, George, Ben, Rachel, dianna, santanna, puck, Chris, Eric, rose, Hannah, lily, Adam, Mandy and I were in Jesse's room drinking.

Mandy, Ben and Eric were on their 1st glass of wine, Puck was on his 2nd can of guiness. Chris, dianna, Paul, Hannah, antanna, lily, rose and dianna were on their 2nd. I was on my 3rd and Rachel was on her 4th. Ben and Rachel were finishing up their.

"Alrite time for shots," Rachel announced getting unsteadily to her feet.

"I'll help," Ben said also standing.

"I'll have a shot," George said standing as well.

He'd already had 4 shots of soco. And he was going to have a 5th of what I didn't know.

"Me too," santanna said.

She'd already had 2 shots of fireball.

"You want any?" Chris asked puck.

"No," he answered.

"Me either not yet."

"Same."

Rachel, Ben, George and santanna made their way out of the room, down the stairs and into the living room. We heard them downstairs laughing and talking. Well we heard Rachel laughing she was a fun drunk. santanna and George were dark brooding maybe angry drunk and Ben was the same he'd always been quiet, nice and shy.

Downstairs we heard the fridge open.

"I can't feel my shoes where are my feet I mean I can't feel my feet," Rachel aid.

"Your feet are attached to your legs and you took your shoes off," Ben said clearly enjoying this: "I'll get the door for you."

"mmm thank you ooh you smell good tell me something good tell me that you- ooh there it is!"

"Ok well you're clearly drunk."

While all this was going downstairs I sipped some more of my wine. As did Chris.

"I think, after this I'll jut do shots," Chris said slightly drunk.

"Ok," I said.

"But wow Rachel's having the time of her life down there."

We'd already gone through about 12 bottle of merlot. Being an alcoholic Karen kept a lot if it around. And not just merlot other wine too. And other alcohol including vodka and whiskey. I'd never seen her drink rum, scotch or beer though. She really liked her drinks. And she could afford to keep buying alcohol w/ all the money she made from being a therapist.

Rachel and Ben came back upstairs. Rachel was carrying a bottle of green apple. Ben was carrying 2 glasses of wine.

"Hey there's another glass for you," he told me setting it on the dresser.

"Thank you," I told him.

"2 shots. That soco stuff is good," Rachel told Paul sitting down next to him.

"Yeah I know I can smell it," he said.

He opened her green apple.

"Thank you," she said lifting it to her mouth and drinking.

"Wow. sexy," puck said watching it.

"When a woman drinks straight out of a bottle that size? Yeah I think so too," Paul said: "what'd George and santanna drink?"

"Fireball," Rachel answered.

"Oh."

George came back up and took his seat next to dianna.

"So dinner was nice," Chris said.

"Yeah it was thank you. And thank you for cooking," I said sipping my wine.

"Oh yeah. I like cooking."

"I've noticed. Thank you for setting up," I told puck.

"Yeah of course."

I sipped more of the wine.

"How are you not queasy by now?" Paul wondered in amazement.

"Willpower love," Rachel told him.

"She does have a lot of that," puck said watching Rachel drink.

"Whoa," Mandy said.

Adam looked at her.

"I just got like really cold."

"The heat on high enough?" I asked.

"um I'll go check," Adam said standing.

He left the room.

Again I sipped more of my wine.

I knew alcohol lowered your body temp. but I didn't think pointing this out to Mandy would help which was why I didn't.

Chris was halfway done w/ his drink I was almost done w/ mine. I finished it up and went to get my 3rd. I stood and put the empty wine glass next to the full one. I picked up the full one stood and drank.

At that moment Adam came back in w/ a bottle of green apple which he handed to me.

"Here figured you'd want it. And yes the heat's on high enough," he told me.

"thank you," I aid taking the bottle and setting it on the dresser.

santanna came back suptairs.

It was an hr. later 9:20. Rachel was on her 2nd cocktail of vanilla vodka and root beer Chris, puck and I were on our 3rd bottle of green apple. Mandy, Ben, Eric, santanna, George and dianna and Rachel had just taken shots. Over the past hr. Rachel had had 4 bottles of green apple and 8 shots 4 of soco and 4 of fireball. Ben, Mandy, lily, santanna, Paul, Hannah, dianna and rose had all had 4 glasses of merlot. Puck had had 4 guinesses and 4 bud. lily, Paul, Hannah and rose went downstairs to do shots. In between each drink we'd done shots starting w/ soco and moving on to fireball. The people who'd gone to do shots had come upstairs.

"Oh good," Rachel said going over to Paul.

He put her right around him while holding her drink w/ her left.

"Hi hon," he said.

"Hello. Love. You should tell the spin to stop rooming."

Ben giggled then said rather seriously "alrite spin. stop rooming. Now. Rachel said so."

Rachel turned to Ben: " 'Rachel said so'. That's funny."

she turned back to Paul and brought her right leg up to his hip.

"Whoa I need something to stand against," he said a bit drunk himself.

She grabbed his a. He was surprised. The drink Rachel was holding danced in her cup.

"Be careful," I told them.

It was 10:20. Rachel and I were on our 2nd cup of vanilla vodka and root beer. Mandy, Ben, Eric, santanna, George, dianna were on their 4th green apple. Rachel and Paul were lying down on Jesse's bed.

"The room's ..still . ," she said quietly.

"I know honey," Paul said.

"Uh oh," Rachel said.

He at up then realising he'd gotten up too fast lied back down again.

"Do you need the bathroom?" Paul asked.

Rachel nodded.

"ok. I'm going to help you there slowly. Ok?"

"ok."

They stood slowly and slowly went down the hall to the bathroom. Ben set his green apple down and went downstairs. I heard the fridge open.


	24. Chapter 17

It was an hr. later 9:20. Rachel was on her 2nd cocktail of vanilla vodka and root beer chris, puck and I were on our 3rd bottle of green apple. Mandy, ben, eric, santanna, george and dianna and Rachel had just taken shots. Over the past hr. Rachel had had 4 bottles of green apple and 8 shots 4 of soco and 4 of fireball. Ben, mandy, lily, santanna, paul, Hannah, dianna and rose had all had 4 glasses of merlot. Puck had had 4 guinesses and 4 bud. lily, paul, Hannah and rose went downstairs to do shots. In between each drink we'd done shots starting w/ soco and moving on to fireball. The people who'd gone to do shots had come upstairs.

"oh good," Rachel said going over to paul.

He put her right around him while holding her drink w/ her left.

"hi hon," he said.

"hello. Love. You should tell the pin to stop rooming."

Ben giggled then said rather seriously "alrite spin. stop rooming. Now. Rachel said so."

Rachel turned to ben: " 'Rachel aid so'. that's funny."

she turned back to paul and brought her right leg up to his hip.

"whoa I need something to stand against," he said a bit drunk himself.

she grabbed his a. he was surprised. The drink Rachel was holding danced in her cup.

"be careful," I told them.


	25. more drinks

It was 10:20. Rachel and I were on our 2nd cup of vanilla vodka and root beer. Mandy, ben, eric, santanna, george, dianna were on their 4th green apple. Rachel and paul were lying down on jesse's bed.

"the room's ..still . ," she said quietly.

"I know honey," paul said.

"uh oh," Rachel said.

He at up then realising he'd gotten up too fast lied back down again.

"do you need the bathroom?" paul asked.

Rachel nodded.

"ok. I'm going to help you there slowly. Ok?"

"ok."

They stood slowly and slowly went down the hall to the bathroom. Ben set his green apple down and went downstairs. I heard the fridge open.


	26. sat nov 10th: hungover

At. Nov. 7th

Ashley

When we woke up the next day we were all crowded in Jesse's room. I didn't know what time it was since the blinds were shut.

"Omygod I feel horrible," Rachel said.

I got up and looked at her feeling not so great myself. She and Paul were still on Jesse's bed.

"Yeah you don't look like you feel good," I told her which she didn't.

"Yeah I really don't."

"You drank the most out of all of su so I'm not all that surprised," Paul said.

"I. did? I don't remember that."

"I do. We had sex."

"Oh god we did. Did I get you pregnant?"

"You mean. are you pregnant?"

"um yeah."

"I don't know. I hope not I brought um. stuff so that we. Wouldn't be."

"How much did I drink last night?"

"16 shots and um. 24 regular drinks," Chris said having heard Paul, Rachel and I talk and waking up.

"Really? My god. Wait how do you know?"

"Each time you drank he pulled a dollar out. To keep track," puck replied.

"Oh."

"We liked your dancing," santanna said.

"I danced? Oh god."

"Yeah you were quite good."

"I'll get you some aspirin," Ben said getting up and going downstairs.

"and I'll get some water," rose said also going downstairs.

"I've never seen her drink that much. Ever," I said.

"Yeah I know me either," dianna said.

"Why are you so loud?" Rachel said.

"Honey you're just hungover. You'll feel better by Mon," I told Rachel.

"How are you doing?" Eric asked the rest of us.

"I think we're all a bit hungover," chris answered.


	27. at mr schue

It was 10 p.m. that night and we were all at Mr. Schue's. 'we' being puck, dianna, Rachel, santanna, Chris, George, Tina, Mr. Schue and miss pillsbury. And Rachel's guy Paul. We'd all had a big dinner of pizza and pasta at my house.

"Now what," Mr. Schue began, "does everyone want to drink?"

"You're letting us drink?" Chris asked.

"Yeah. You're the older members of the club after all."

"Oh wow."

We were at 19.

"How old are you?" I asked George.

"20," he replied.

"Oh."

"As am I," Paul replied.

"Well what do you have?" dianna asked.

"We have wine and whiskey. soco," Mr. Schue replied.

"Oh."

"Did you all drive or .?" emma asked.

"um well Chris, George and I did," puck replied.

"Ok do you have a place to stay tonight? And how are you getting there?"

"Well after this Ashley and I are going to her sister's."

"Dianna and I are staying at her mom's," George replied.

"Rachel, santanna, Chris and I are staying at Chris'," Paul said.

"Ok. But how are you getting there?" emma asked.

"Oh my dad'll take us," I said.

"Ok just making sure."

"Honey you're fine. I have told you this," Mr. Schue told her.

"how many times do I have to tell you even when you're crying you're beautiful too ." Rachel began.

"see listen to the girl she knows what she's talkin about."

"actually that was john legend but yes me by proxy."

I hadn't heard Rachel sing in so long that it felt good to hear her again.

"It feels good to hear you sing," I told her.

She smiled: "thank you."

"um I'll have wine," Chris said going over to the table.

"Ashley what would you like?" Mr. Schue asked me.

"Oh I'll have soco," I replied.

"A girl after my own heart," Paul said smiling.

"Yeah I like my whiskey."

"I don't suppose you have jack daniels?" he aked Mr. Schue.

"No no."

"Ok well soco it is then."

"I cannot drink that stuff straight," dianna said.

"I can," santanna said.

"not surprised."

And it wasn't. That much of a surprise given how abrasive santanna was at times. Whiskey fit her.

"dianna you?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Wine," she said.

"Ok then santanna i'm guessing you want whiskey."

"Yeah."

"So Tina," I began leaning forward, "what are you doing these days?"

"Well i'm. Actually not in college so not a whole lot. Still doing the art thing though. And you?"

"I'm in college in fl. I have a roommate Lila. she's nice quiet. Kindof closed off."

"oh."

We all stood and got our drinks.

"It is so good to have everyone here. And their significant other," Mr. Schue said and then toasted us.

We all raised our glasses clinked them and then took a sip. We all sat there quietly getting used to things. I got the feeling dianna was uptight about something and putting on airs. She looked and sounded perfectly lovely though. Maybe a little too lovely. Almost too good to be true in a way. I got the feeling there was tension between her and puck who seemed sad about something.

Those of us who had whiskey - santanna, Paul, puck and myself - finished it quickly. I already felt the buzz. I wanted more.

"Wow I forgot how smooth that goes down," I said.

"been awhile?" puck guessed looking at me.

"Yeah."

"Well that was fast," Rachel said.

"Teah whiskey usually is," santanna said.

"Just like you."

"Hey cmon be nice. It's the first night back," Mr. Schue said.

I expected dianna to say something to Rachel but she didn't. I guess they still weren't talking.

Puck looked at dianna.

"Are you going to tell him?" he asked her.

"Now?" she said surprised.

"Yes now."

"Well i'm certainly not going to do it now. You heard him it's our first night back. And not before the holidays."

"tell me what?" George asked.

"About her past," puck said.

"it stays where it belongs. In the past," dianna said.

"Oh really is that why you left? I thought you left to avoid it."

"No I left to go to college."

"Yeah you just keep telling yourself that. And maybe he should know you're not as pristine as you appear."

"Ok who wants more wine? Or, something," emma said loudly, intervening.

She was annoyed.

"I'll have some," Tina said turning.

"Me too," Chris said.

"I'll have more whiskey," I said needing an excuse to get up.

"Me too," santanna said.

"Yeah well i'm not a slut either," dianna said defending herself.

"didn't say you were. I just thought maybe he should know," puck said.

Tina, Chris, santnna and I stood and got more to drink.

"Puck let it go," dianna said.

"No. He deserves to know."

"Well maybe i'm not ready to tell him yet."

I sipped my whiskey.

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" George asked looking between puck and dianna.

"you know once you know you can't- " I began.

I had more of my drink.

"Ashley shutit," puck said.

"Make me," I said flirtatious but annoyed.

"Oh I'll make you. Right here and right now i'll make you."

"Whoa," Chris and santanna said.

"This, could be interesting," Chris said.

I was starting to feel warm and not just bc of the drink.

"She, had a baby back in high school. And i'm the dad," puck said.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" George said.

"Oh bloody hell," I said.

"I have never heard you say that," Rachel said to me.

"Yeah I got it from my cousin."

"I was waiting for the right time to. We haven't been going out that long. And I certainly wasn't going to tell you at one of your upper class family dinners. And I had 2 actually only one didn't. she didn't ..um," dianna wallowed turned to Mr. Schue: "I would like another drink now please."

"Ok," he said.

He knew enough to not say more.

"So that's why you haven't talked to me for so long?" Rachel asked looking at dianna.

"well that's a reason. I hadn't planned to tell you this way. You know, in front of everyone," dianna said.

She stood. Rachel went over to her.

"omygod," Rachel said: "I had no idea."

She was stunned.

"Neither did I," Chris who was still standing said.

He looked at Rachel: "are you ok?"

"I don't know," he said dazedly gazing off.

"honey I am so sorry," Chris said to dianna.

she looked at him: "thank you."

Puck and George were arguing. Chris, Rina, Rachel, santanna and I were drinking. Well Chris, Tina and Rachel were on their 2nd glasses sipping them as was dianna. santanna and I were downing ours. I tended to react quickly when I was uncomfortable.

I looked at puck and noticed he'd pulled his left arm back getting ready to hit George. W/ his right he was downing his 2nd glass of whiskey. Paul noticed too he followed my gaze.

"Hey," he said downing his glass and putting his arm on puck holding him back.

Tina, Chris and I were already standing so we were out of the way.

Mr. Schue had just finished pouring a drink when he looked up.

"What the hell- oh. Hey. Hold this," he said giving the drink to emma.

He came over and got on George's other side. Dianna, Chris, santanna, Tina, Rachel and I already had our 2nd drink. The one emma was holding was for Paul. It was whiskey.

"Hey," Mr. Schue said again trying to get their attention.

George looked at him surprised and distracted.

"I knew that would work," Mr. Schue said, "now if you want to that's fine but not in my in our house. If you're going to fight go outside. You know where the door is."

They stood.

"I'm sorry," puck said.

"No. don't apologise just go outside," Mr. Schue said.

They did.

"Paul when you're ready for more whiskey here it is," emma told him.

"Ok thank you," he said getting up to get it.

"Ashley you want more?" emma asked me.

"Yeah."

"Ok."

"Ashley you should call your. Erm. I mean call Jesse right now before anyone gets any more drunk," Mr. Schue told me.

"ok."

I stood.

"um where's an empty room I can use?" I asked.

"the bathroom's down the hall to the left," mr. schue told me.

"ok."

I went into the bathroom where I called jesse.

"Yeah?" he asked answering the phone.

"Hi it's Ashley," I said.

"Yeah I know."

"Oh."

"You're a bit drunk aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm at Mr. Schue's."

"Oh. Ok. Do you know what time you'll be done?" Jesse asked.

"within the next hr."

"Oh ok. Call me at ..um 11."

"Ok. Will you get puck and I first and take us to Hannah's? The others will stay here."

"Ok. Tell Mr. Schue."

"Yeah I will."

"Ok."

"I think dianna will probably want to see Annabelle so whenever she's ready i'll have her call," I said.

"Ok."

"um but I don't know when the others will be ready."

"Ok."

We hung up.

I came out of the bathroom and into the living room. Puck and George were still outside, Chris, Rachel and dianna were all sitting on the sofa and santanna and Tina were elsewhere. Paul was standing by the table the drinks were on drinking.

I went over to the table and got mine from emma.

"Hey sorry about that," I said to Paul: "I didn't think that would happen. Obviously."

"Hey it's all good. You ok?" he asked.

"um I. I think so. maybe."

"You're not sure."

"no. i'll let you know after i've had more to drink."

He smiled: "ok."

He seemed like a nice, easygoing guy.

"You're so. easygoing about this. Wow," I said.

"Well i've leaned you should absorb life even the bad parts," he told me.

"You sound jut like my cousin. She's the same way."

"Sounds like a cool chick."

"Oh she is. v."

"i'd like to meet her sometime."

"Yeah maybe you will. You smoke pot?"

"I have yeah. And I have enough from my job to um. I'm good."

"What job?" Rachel asked.

"I. oh nothing."

"Oh. Ok then."

"Ahley," Mr. Schue said reminding me of the original reason why I came back out.

"Oh right. Um my dad said to call him back at 11," I told him.

"Ok."

I told dinna what my dad had told me. She seemed ok w/ it.

Paul went and sat next to Rachel. Dianna and Chris moved away from them.

Puck came back inside.

"Hey," he said.

He seemed calmer.

"Hey man," Paul said; "where's George?"

"He took off."

"oh."

"I um. I left something in the car," dianna said standing.

"I thought her dad brought you?" emma said looking at dianna.

"Right so he did. I um. I'll be back."

"Me too," Rachel said.

They left along w/ chris.

Puck went to the drink table.

"More whiskey please and then no more," he told emma.

"Ok. Ashley you?" emma asked me.

"I'll just have one more after i'm done w/ this one. Ima text my dad and tell him," I replied.

"ok."

Emma gave puck his whiskey and poured one more for me. Puck came and sat on the sofa next to me. He put our glasses on the coffee table.

"You're single right?" he asked.

"Yeah have been since june. You?"

"Yeah untill those 2 split which i'm thinking they will."

He meant dianna and George.

"i'm gonna hold you to that," I told him.

"to what?" he asked not having a clue.

He was obviously drunk.

"Making me shutit."

"Oh. Right that."

"You know," I said finishing up the 3rd glass of soco, "you're hot when you're angry. And drunk."

"mmm yeah. And honey you're supposed to shoot that not sip it."

"Oh shutit."

"Why don't you make me?"

"Oh I will."

"Ashley," Mr. Schue said.

"Oh right sorry," I said.

"No it's fine. It's just. Time place and this isn't it. I'm not upset w/ you."

"um oh.k."

I started on the 4th glass of whiskey uncomfortable again. Puck had already downed half of his.

"um thanks for. Having us over," I told Mr. Schue.

"Yeah thanks man," puck told him.

Mr. Schue smiled: "you're welcome glad you could come. It was good to see you. You too puck."

"Yeah you too miss p."

Puck raised his glass and toasted her.

She smiled: "you too. And ashley you as well."

"Same."

Puck downed the rest of his 4th glass.

"Well now what?" he said looking at me.

"Now we wait. For my dad," I said.

I finished my 4th glass.


	28. ashley: at hannah

Ashley

it was midnight and puck and i'd just arrived at hannah's. I had a key so I let us in drunkenly. The room smelled like pot and I knew what they'd been doing.

"oh good. I could use some after what just happened," puck said.

"yeah me too," I said drawing out the 'me': "uh sorry about hannah er no not hannah I mean. um. Lila."

"yeah wow. She always like that?"

"for as long as i've known her which hasn't been all that long. Few months."

"oh. Well I mean she wasn't particularly loud she just. Wasn't friendly. Reminds me of rachel actually only she gets loud."

"yeah she's loud for such a tiny person. So's my cousin actually."

"hey I think someone's here," we heard eric say from the balcony.

"that's cause someone is here. Whoa," hannah said standing.

"be careful."

they turned and saw us. They came over to us.

"hey good to see you. Even though. I just saw you yesterday. Do you know eric?" hannah asked puck.

"yeah we've met briefly. Good to see you man," puck said.

"yeah you too. Want some?" eric asked.

"oh yeah."

"ashley you?"

"uh huh."

"ok."

leo went back onto the balcony and brought the pipe and weed into the living room.

"hey you guys don't lude do you?" he asked.

"no. hannah how long you been luding for?" I asked knowing it was an illegal activity.

"few yrs. We're really careful about not getting caught. Don't tell?" she asked pleading.

"i won't. Well I won't tell alexa. Or um karen and jesse though jesse might be cool w/ it."

"ok."

"so's pot for the time being," puck told me.

"um. What?"

"illegal."

"oh right."

"see that's what I don't get. Is the whole pot not being legal thing," gavin said as eric went and locked the door: "i mean not like it's a hard drug. Given how much it helps people...doesn't make a whole lot of sense for it not to be legal. If anything should be outlawed it should be alcohol. Not that drinkers would want that jus sayin."

"no I get it. And it is in. um amsterdam. Pot I mean," I said.

"and so are hookers," eric said coming over.

"yeah that's another thing I don't get. People can get stds w/o hooking, so. Idinno weird thing," gavin said.

"the others are coming over later. After yall leave. We wanted tonight to just be about us," eric told us.

"that's really nice of you," I told him.

"so what else have you done tonight?" he asked as we all sat down.

"we went to mr. schue's where we had drinks. And there was a fight."

"oh no wonder you look like you could use some pot. You also look drunk."

we laughed.

"and uh. Oh I brought my roommate lila. Who hannah's met. She's back at karen's."

"she's not loud she's just standoffish," puck said.

"oh. Where she from?" eric asked lighting the pipe.

"ca. I met her back in aug. she's a dancer. She doesn't drink doesn't smoke," I said.

"oh well she sounds like a lot of fun," eric said sarcastically: "sorry."

"it's alrite you know you can say anything around me. Yeah she. Keeps to herself a lot and doesn't eat. A whole lot," I said as hannah took a hit.

She then held it. As she was doing so she passed it to me. Then let go.

"yay," she said smiling: "i didn't sputter."

she was so cute.

"oh righton," leo said.

"you're so cute," I told her.

"yeah ashley's a cool lady," eric said.

"hey i'm here too," puck said feigning being offended.

"and you. You're alrite man."

"so we don't know when but we're going to my cousin's after this. Jesse'll take us," I said.

"ok."

"hey no parking I want some too," puck told me.

"oh. Right."

I took a hit then handed the pipe to him. I held the hit longer than hannah had then let it out. She stared at me impressed.

"how...?" she asked.

"big voice big lungs. Or something like that," I told her.

"yeah but I don't think that's right though," puck told me after taking his hit.

He then gave the pipe to eric.


	29. Chapter 22

Ashley

It was the next day Sun. Nov. 8th 4:15 a.m. Puck and i'd just arrived at my cousin annabelle's via Jesse. Puck knocked on the door. We heard light footsteps go across the living room floor and come down the stairs. The door opened and there stood Annabelle lit by the interior. I knew she'd be awake. She often was at odd hrs.

"Hi honey," I said.

"Hi love come in. hi puck," she greeted us stepping back so we could.

We came inside puck closing the door behind us. Jesse waited until we got in then drove off. We followed annabelle up the stairs and into the living room.

"Wow so I haven't seen you since Aug. how's college?" annabelle asked hugging me.

We hugged.

"It's ok. I have a roommate Lila. She's from ca. She's a dancer," I answered.

"Oh where in ca?" annabelle asked.

"um sweet valley."

"Oh. I've, never heard of it."

"Yeah most haven't. I'm not even sure where in ca it is actually Lila didn't tell me much."

"Oh. Oh what kind of dance?"

annabelle had taken dance for 10 yrs. The last time she took was in college which was yrs. Ago.

"um ballet."

"Oh."

"Oh so I brought you a belated birthday giift and a holiday gift. Well I brought everyone holiday gifts."

"Oh i'll open it later."

"Ok good cause I don't have it w/ me and Jesse just left, so."

"Right."

"We were at Hannah's getting high w/ her and Eric and their friends."

"Oh so that's why you look stoned."

"Yeah and then before um Hannah's we were at Mr. Schue's. This was last night. I got in on Fri."

"Oh. Wow sounds like you've been pretty busy."

"Yeah yeah I have."

Puck stood there quietly. I took off my shoes. Annabelle didn't have a shoe policy just however people were most comfortable.

"So how was your flight?" annabelle asked as we got settled in the living room.

"Um ok. Wow it's cold here," I said.

"Yeah I remember that about coming back."

She'd also gone to college in fl. She went just to try it out. Which she did for 2 yrs. Then left for financial reasons.

"Well it's good to see you."

"Yeah you too."

"Oh wow hi. I'm sorry," annabelle said to puck somehow surprised to see him standing by us.

"It's alrite I know you were catching up. Hi good to see you," he told her.

"You too hon," she said hugging him.

They hugged.

"So what are you doing these days?"

"Well I was in l.a. But just moved back here a couple wks. Ago. Got my own place in the building Ashley used to live in."

"Oh wow."

"Yeah. Happy belated btw."

annabelle smiled: "thank you."

"Is evan here?" I asked.

"um...yeah. I think. Either that or out I don't really know what's going on right now."

Annabelle usually knew where her friends were so I wondered if she was having another one of her relapses.

"Oh. Dianna might stop by at some point later."

"Ok."

Ouck went into the bathroom and came out w/ 2 drinks. He waited until I was sitting on the floor to hand both to me then sat on the floor himself. One of them had green apple vodka in it the other had whiskey in it.

"Thank you," I said taking mine which was green apple.

"mmmhmm."

He took his drink from me.

"So what's Lila like?" annabelle asked.

"um. Well she's quiet," I began.

"She seems nice she's just. I don't know she's standoffish. She was when I met her which was. Fri.," puck said: "she's small, pretty."

"Yeah she keeps to herself and doesn't eat a whole lot."

"Oh," annabelle said.

"and she doesn't drink or smoke."

"Wow."

"Yeah Eric was surprised too."

"hey you know jessica right?" annabelle asked.

"not well but um yeah," I said.

"oh. Well she's been staying w/ us. I don't know how much dianna's told you or even how much she knows. Actually right now she's at evan's. But if dianna wants to tell you their situation i'll leave that to her."

"ok," I said wondering.

Annabelle was a really discreet person in that way.


	30. Mandy: tues nov 13th: king

Mandy

tues. oct. 18th

it was the morning of tues. oct. 18th. I was in the bathroom of king's binging. I heard someone come in and stopped eating but cleared my throat so they'd know I was in here.

"it's ok it's just me. er. I mean. It's rachel. From glee," she said.

"yeah I know who you are," I said.

"oh. What are you doing? I mean besides the obvious. Which is being in the bathroom between 2 and 3 a.m."

"eating. What are you doing?"

"not eating."

"oh."

it got quiet for a minute.

Then: "you eat at this hr.? Well obviously but I mean. Why here?" rachel asked.

"no I binge, at this hr. cause I don't want anyone to know what happens after."

"oh. I get it. I can't fukin sleep."

"so you cam here."

"yeah I came here. My god. I'd do anything to get some sleep."

I remembered those days.

"when was the last time? You ate?" I asked.

"it's every 2 days now. Since...uh...whenever that was. My memory's not great either. I'm surprised I remember song lyrics. I'm sorry you probably want some privacy. I'll go. Back to my place. Or i'll. Be in the store or something," rachel answered.

"yeah actually I do thanks."

"ok."

she left closing the door behind her. It got quiet again. I finished then went out into the store and looked for her feeling high. It didn't take me long to find her.

"hey," I said.

"hi. Is it always this quiet here?" she asked.

"At this hr. yeah."

"why do you lok so happy?"

"i'm um. I'm high. Look it up."

"ok. Well since i'm here I might as well do some shopping. Let's see I need...oh airborne. And emergen c."

"ya know...if you want my sister rose can get you some."

"i have money amanda," rachel said.

"no. it's never 'amanda'. Ever," I said: "and don't ask."

"ok."

we continued walking.

"um btw," she began.

"yes?"

"i um I won't tell. I get the sense you wouldn't want anyone else to know."

"ok thank you."

"yeah. And you too. For offering for your sister to get me some."

"yeah."

I smiled. She'd said 'get' not 'buy'. Rose would've liked this too.


	31. karen: wed nov 14th: pam annabelle

Karen

It was Wed. Dec. 4th. I was at my 10th karaoke night at the bar by Annabelle's. she was there drinking soco of course and I was having red wine. Pam had come she was in a black dress her long brown hair was down.

"This is my girlfriend Pam. This is Ashley's cousin Annabelle," I told Annabelle who smiled.

"Hi nice to meet you," Annabelle told Pam.

"Yeah you too," pam aid.

"Are you singing tonight?"

"Oh yes. Are you?"

"Yes. I know Mrs. uh…I mean…."

"Karen?" Pam supplied.

Annabelle smiled again: "yes. I know she is. you look nice."

"Thank you so do you."

"What are you drinking?"

"A white russian."

"Oh those are good. Never been to russia though."

"Yeah me either. My mom has," Annabelle said.

"Oh," pam said.

"You know they make a drink called a black russian."

"I didn't actually."

Karaoke started. Annabelle was the 5th person to sing I was the 6th and Pam was the 7th. She sang 'fever' she was sultry and sensual. In the 2nd round she sang 'lady is a tramp' she had fun.


	32. Hannah: thurs nov 15th

Hannah

it was the morning of thurs. oct. 10th. We were all at my house in the living room smoking. It was 3 a.m. It was quiet and dark. Giselle had joined us.

"Hey you know charlie?" giselle asked lighting the pipe.

She then passed it to her sister.

"Well I know of him," I said looking at her.

"Yeah well he's our dad," breanna said lighting the pipe then handing it to belle.

"Oh."

"We don't talk to him much. You know someone by the name of kristy?"

"That sounds vaguely familiar."

"Ok do you know a stacey?"

"That's my aunt via karen."

"Yeah she and charlie are married."

"Oh. Oh wow. Wait so that means charlie our connection are..." I said piecing it together.

"Yeah one and the same," breanna said.

"I'm guessing that's why he doesn't come for thanksgiving."

"Yeah maureen doesnt like that stacey's married to someone like that. He does drugs w/ his friends nick, adam and brian."

"vanessa's brothers?"

"yeah. Here," belle gave me the pipe.

As I lit I thought. Vanessa was the aunt of mandy's friend pansy whose mom was margo. So that meant in some weird way giselle and I were related. We were cousins.

The pipe was lit. I sucked in and ended up sputtering like mad.

"godamn," I said in between coughs.

"Here," gavin said handing me a drink.

"Thank you."

He nodded. Leo took the pipe from me.

I sipped some of the drink then coughed some more. My eyes were watering. I waited until I stopped coughing to drink some more.

"Hey how come you guys don't cough?" I asked.

"cause we don't take as much," breanna told me.

"Oh. Hey are you coming for thanksgiving?"

"yeah um what's your schedule like?

"we're all having a family thing at 12 then annabelle and ashley are going to annabelle's mom's that's at 4:30 and will be done at 8:30. then the glee people have their thanksgiving which starts at 9. i'm going to that."

"wow."

"yeah. It ends at um 1. the next day."

"ok. so."

"come to the family thing at 12."

"ok. And then at 4:30 we could have our own thing."

"ok."

"hey are the couples having anything?"

"um probably...the night after thanksgiving night."

"ok."


	33. evan: thurs nov 15th

Evan

It was early morning thurs. sept. 13th. Rebecca and I were in bed sleeping. My phone rang waking me up. I went to answer it noting the time. It was 2:20 a.m.

"yeah?" I asked sleepily answering it.

"hi will you come pick me up?" my mom aked.

"um where are you?"

Rebecca shifted next to me.

"at a bar."

she gave me the address.

"uh yeah ok. I'll be there by 3. Wait there," I told her.

"ok."

We hung up.

"hm?" Rebecca asked.

"I have to go pick up my mom. she's at a bar. I'll be back by 4," I told her.

"ok."

I got up got ready went and picked my mom up took her back to her houe and came back to mine.


	34. Mandy: fri nov 16: rachel drinks purge

mandy

it was the night of fri. nov. 16th. I was in my rooom when a knock came on my door.

"Yeah?" I called.

"It's me," rachel said.

"Oh. Come in," I said.

And she did closing the door behind her.

We'd actually met 2 yrs. ago but didn't say much to each other. Last yr. was when we started getting together. Cause often when I was in the bathroom of King's purging she was there bc of her insomnia which was a result of her eating disorder. I was actually thinking of going to king's to do just that.

"hey want a drink?" she asked me.

I could tell she had something behind her back.

"um ok what do you have?" I asked.

"Vodka," she said pulling them forward: "and shooters they're in my purse. You get drunk they'll make stuff come up faster. But you didn't hear that from me. So what are you doing tonight?"

"Ya know it's funny you should ask since I was actually thinking of going to king's."

"ok. I'll come w/ or?"

"Yeah but you know. The privacy thing."

"Right right. Here's yours," she said coming over to my bed and handing me a bottle which I took.

I noticed she'd brought her purse w/ her.

"Jesse er Mr. er. Your dad knows we're going. He seemed surprised when I told him who was going w/ me," rachel told me.

"oh. ok."

I opened the bottle and took a drink.


	35. karen: wed nov 21stt: karaoke

Karen

it was a wed. night and I was at the bar as usual waiting for karaoke to begin.

"karen?" a male voice said coughing right after.

I turned and saw nick a friend of mine from hs.

"omygod nick," I said: "hi. God wow. It is so good to see you. How...what's...are you...wow hi."

I didn't smile that often. Primarily bc I wasn't all thay happy. But seeing nick got me to smile. We'd been close back in the day and I hadn't seen him in what seemed like forever.

"yeah you too. Ok if I sit?" he asked indicating a seat next to me.

"no nick it's not. No go ahead," I answered.

"oh. Good to see you can still be sarcastic. Around me anyway I don't know how you are around others."

he sat down: "buy you a drink?"

"i already have one."

"yes but i'm. Offering to buy you another one."

"oh. Yeah sure. Thakn you."

"what you want?"

"um. Red wine."

"ok wine it is. Wow. Been so long. You singin tonight?"

"yeah you?"

"no don't think so. I'm excited to hear you sing I don't think I ever have. You look nice."

"i did back in paris."

"paris wow what was that like? Did you see any shows at the moulin rouge?"

"actually I was in. shows at the moulin rouge. Wow so much has happened. How's your family?"

"yeah it has. They're ok. Jordan and hen are still together and they. um. Own a head shop the one on leets. Let's see jo and rosie are...like wow they're 27 now. She's in her 40's."

"as am I. I've heard from vanessa she and I talk about pansy.

"right margo's daughter. I really haven't heard from margo much at all. Scuse me."

"sure," I said.

A waitress came by and nick ordered a drink for me then the waitress left.

"yeah pansy and my daughter mandy are friends. Louisa's mandy's twin. She's got a girlfriend and I...you have a family?"

"no not yet. If I did have a child they'd be drug addicted just like me, so."

"mmm right. So you're still doing that then."

"yeah. If you ever want any."

"so where you livin now?"

"in denver actually. W/ charlie. We do. We have a business."

"right snow," I said talking about coke in code.

"yeah. We make quite a bit of money that way. And what about you what do you do?"

"i. am a psychologist actually. Pam is too. We're together."

"oh well righton. And you live?"

"also in denver on 7th. You?"

"downtown."

"oh. How's your mom?"

"she's good. I don't talk to adam much. Claire as you might know is in a facility."

"yeah I heard."

"so. I want to know more about your family since I don't have much news on mine," nick told me.

"ok well. Evan's the oldest he's my only son. He's um. Well he's 20 now. He has a girlfriend rebecca she's 19. she's lovely really helps out a lot. They have their own place."

"oh wow."

"yeah and then there's alexa and her boyfriend tom. he. Well he's in remission from cancer now. My you gest has cancer she was diagnosed last yr. Anna. And kate my next youngest also has it. She was diagnosed when she was 2."

"wow that's terrible. I mean that they have not that. Not the remission part no the remission is good news."

"no I. I know," I said smiling: "ashleys the next oldest after evan. She's w/ ben but not my brother ben. No that'd be weird. She's um. She's 19. alexa's 18. then there's hannah, rose, lily. Anna and kate. Marie up and left last yr she took off."

"sounds like someone else I know," nick said smiling.

"ok point taken. The only ones who are biologically mine are the twins, evan, anna and kate."

"wow. So big family."

"yeah. Yeah it is. And we have jesse you remember jesse."

"yeah."

"well we have him living w/ us. And his mom sara she moved in to help."

"wow. So what happened after high school? This is the first time i've seen you in like. A long time," nick asked.

"yeah it is. Well a lot happened after then. I live in many places. Well not not many. Quite a few paris being one of them."

"mmmhmm where else?"

"let's see...london, amsterdam where I continued my hooking. Stopped that after awhile. Right now the only thing I do is drink as you can see. And I was actually instituionalised for a bit."

"oh wow."

"yeah. And I was pregnant. So after then things calmed down a bit. I went to college down in fl. For 2 yrs when I was 19. then came back here didn't do anything for awhile. Well other than take care of mykids. Eventually wen t back to school. And here we are."

"wow."

"yeah."

I stipped some of my wine.

"hey what are you doing fri.?" nick asked.

"well working but other than that nothing why?"

"do you want to get something to eat? I'll pay."

"yeah um but i'm working a double so."

"oh no it's ok iknow this place downtown that never closes."

"oh ok."

at that moment annabelle came to our table.

"hi,"she said.

"hi sit down," I told her.

"this is my niece annabelle," I explained to nick.

"this is my friend nick from way back when," I told annabelle.

"hi nice to meet you," annabelle said.

"yeah you too. You seem v. nice."

"thank you."

"so how do you know karen?

And they started talking.


	36. Karen: fri nov 23rd: cafe w nick

Karen

it was fri. sept. 14th between 10 and 11 p.m. And nick and I were at the place downtown he'd told me about. It was a cafe that never closed. They have the best chai which I was drinking. It was cold and dark outside but lit inside.

"mmm it's so warm," I said about the chai: "and it's really good too."

he smiled.

"so I gotta tell ya. I like your singing. You're. Good," nick said.

"um thank you."

"i take it you don't get a lot of compliments on that or other."

"well no. most don't think i'm nice enough to compliment."

"wow. I can see that. Er sorry that's probably not what you want to hear on our 2nd night getting together. Hey does pam get jealous?"

"no you're right. It's not what I want to hear. Uh and no. she's really nice she's def. Different than how she was back then."

"have you heard from melissa at all?"

"no and actually I stopped stripping. My daughter ashley strips though. Well she did. She's in college now down in fl. I don't know if she's working or not I don't see her don't talk to her."

"wow. Well do you want to?"

"sometimes. I just. I'm not good to my other daughters other than anna and kate. I'm not um. I'm not particularly proud of it. I've put them through hell. I feel like I can tell you anything though. Well. I can tell pam and jesse anything too but. I'm pretty closed off. And it's diff. When you're living w/ someone." I said.

"yeah I hear that. And maybe that's cause you can. Tell me anything. I've done stuff for drugs that i'm not proud of either. And i'm not talking about us...when we used to...you know."

"yes I do know. Have you heard from edward?"

"not much. He and bella have a daughter. If you ever wanted to see them. It'd be ok."

"have you heard from brian at all?"

"well he was more your friend than mine. His siter was w/ your brother. But no," nick replied.

"yeah. She was cute but she didn't really care about him much. I guess I should talk though," I said.

"ok A: that's not entirely true. You seem to care a lot about anna and kate."

"well theyre sick and theyre my 2 youngest."

"so if they werent sick?"

"if they werent sick I wouldntnve missed all the work I have. That's why i've had to pick up an extra shift."

"but they werent sick before kate turned 2 and anna turned 11."

"thats not long enough though," I said.

"oh. One thing ive learned is that were always going to wish we had more time no matter how much we had," nick replied: "so how was it then? When they werent sick?"

"well I was in college so I was busy w/ that."

"oh."

"they take up so much of my time."

"yeah children take up a lot of time karen."

"i got pregnant before I was ready you know that. Evan's...he's half jesse's. Mandy isn't. She doesn't know this. She. I wasn't. He hurt me. I mean in the way my brother's dad had," I said.

"right," nick said.

"i don't know that I should tell mandy."

"so you do care."

"yeah but. I hurt her. Maybe one day i'll tell you more about that. But for now..."

"right."

"she's not as easy to hurt now that she's gained weight. She was last yr. But last yr. I didn't though. I was only around for kate. Wow that sounds horrible doesn't it."

"well. Imean I don't like it. So what changed?" nick asked.

"kate got sick and that put more on me and then mandy got sick. Well actually she'd been sick for 2 yrs..," I said.

"jesse doesn't help?"

"oh he does. But he also doesn't make as much money as I do. He was an artist and now he teaches at the college. He teaches art. He teaches during the day but he's thinking of teaching at night too."

"oh. So then who...?"

"pam mainly. She's really good w/ them better than I am. Well. She's nicer. Since ash;ey's not in town anymore."

"right," nick said.

"and uh. Alexa, rose, hannah and lily are in glee and the school shows, so. They're pretty busy. And also they're getting ready for college."

"right. Wow sounds like you have a busy family."

"yeah I do."

"why sometimes?" nick asked.

"what?" I asked.

"you said that you sometimes want to see ashley. Why sometimes?"

"oh. Well. Idinno. Like except for when she moved in. she was 16 then. It's never been just us. And somewhere new well it's not entirely new. But I mean somewhere that's not here. It'd be weird. I'm so. Severe in a way. I don't want to open up cause then i'd actually start caring more."

"and then you;d."

"i'd lose control."

"but isn't that what you're already doing though? W/ your. Your drinking," nick pointed out.

"yeah," I said."

"so how is that different?"

"a drink isn't a person."

"oh."

"you don't. Hurt drinks. Maybe that sounds weird idinno. You can use them to hurt you."

"you're no better than them. You know that right?" nick said.

"i. um. Yeah. I know how to be w/o chaos I. It's just not me. That's not who I am," I said.

"and as I recall it wasn't back then either. But you're not your past you know that right? It's who you've become."

"either that or I just didn't grow up. I stayed stuck. Bc I spent so long being that person. It took this damn long to get me here why would I want to change it."

"so like peter pan. And no i'm not asking you to. If you want to stay stuck ok. It's not my decision to make. But where is it getting you."

"who says I want to get anywhere."

"and maybe you don't. It must serve some kind of purpose otherwise you wouldn't still be doing it. And if you don't yet know what that is that's ok. And you might not. But do you really want to be the kindof mom yours was?"

"i already have. Before the others came into my life...i wasn't as much. Maybe it's hard to believe sometimes but there was a before. Before kate got sick and I had so many children," I said.

"why didn't you say no," nick said.

"i didn't want jesse to leave just like. he. Had. I. God it was so long ago now. Jesse and I. we. We met in art class. He'd drawn a picture of his sister kate. He bought me food from a cafe. Not not this one another one. I remember... When we were still at school before we went to the cafe... he was so nice to me. And I cried.

"mmmhmm. Bc you let him be. You opened yourself upto the universe."

"he told me. His sister didn't think she was pretty. And neither does kate my daughter. I was. Really scared to eat hten. I hadn't in awhile."

"mmmhmm. Are you still?"

"no. i'm not. I'm scared tostop drinking though. To stop running. I'm really. Good at that at running from things," I said.

"right. Well mandy's the same way. I mean from my gatherings I guess. She has an eating disorder," nick said.

"yeah. She does. She's even been hospitalised for it."

"so you know how she feels."

"yeah. I do. Jesse was so damn determined not to let me die. It annoyed the hell out of me. And I still wish he hadn't been."

"well then maybe if he hadn't been we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation. You just never know what the future holds."

"i guess I. Still scare him."

"by drinking as much as I think you do and have. Been yyeah fuk i'd be scared too."

"yeah but my body's gotten to used to it I don't think it'll happen."

"maybe you're right or. Maybe you don't want to be scared. We all gotta go sometime."

"what scares me actually. Is sobriety. It'd be a shock to my system. And I have to be there in case someone gets sick."

"you don't know how much of a shock it'd be."

"he. One day he. I was outside in winter w/o a coat. And he. Stopped me from going downtown stopped me from. Um prostituting. At the time I was annoyed and I think I still am a bit. But fuk he really cared."

"and that's ok. To still be annoyed."

I smiled over my cup.

"what?" nick asked.

"you're just. You're really good at this validation thing. This...validating people, that. And you're really understanding too."

"i got nowhere to go hon. And also it's keeping me from um. Using snow as it were. I mean well I do have somewhere to go but I haven't seen you in forever and like I said."

"right."

"i guess..."

I waited.

"you're not used to this. Are you," it was a statement not a question.

"no. i'm not."

"when was the last time you used snow?"

"it's been. A long time like...fuk uh...it's been at least 20 yrs."

"oh. Hey what are you doin after this?"

"um nothing why?"

"well. You wanna go to my place? I'll make sure charlie's out."

"uh ok yeah. And I. Could use a drink after all that wow. Heavy stuff."

"yeah it was. I'll get it for you.


	37. Chapter 34

"ya know. The interesting thing here is. That as much as you want to be there for your family. If someone gets sick you're. Well you're not. There for them. If you were. You. Well you wouldn't've taken up an extra shift. So maybe. You don't really want to be cause like you said you're scared."

"and i'm the psychologist."

"yeah. I know."

"um. Wow. Yeah but they can take care of themselves."

"just cause they can doesn't mean they always want to. You're not good at this mom thing."

"i was once."

"yeah but once has gone. It's like the song says yesterday's gone."

"i believe in it. Yesterday. You know like in that other song?"

"uh huh. I dotoo. But that's the thing. Isonce it's gone. It's gone."

"yeah and the older you we get the quicker time passes. And some. Of us grow up before we're ready to."

"yeah iknow."

"and also that's what their friends are for."

"it sounds to me like you don't want to be there for them. Unless they get sick."

"hey you were there for me when I was dope sick or sick otherwise what's wrong w/ that."

"nothing i'm just making a point. You're not fully devoted."

"but they don't need me as much when they're not sick."

"oh really? Well what about when they get their hearts broken? Or someone says something really terrible to them? Or does something really terrible to them?"

"they have-"

"yeah I know. Anyone but you. Don't run away. I know how good at that you are. You can sit here and drink and i'll buy you as many drinks as you want but don't leave."

"ok."

"i know this isn't how neither of us wanted this to go."

"i. yeah. Whatever happened to you being understanding?"

"well I;m also honest. I don't know how many people you've talked to about all this. Look i'm sorry you're still hurting. I am. And clearly you are if you drink as much as I think you do. But 2 wrongs don't make a right. All i'm sayin."

"ok. Godamnit."

"what?"

"i could go for some snow right now. I just want to forget. And the drink isn't doing that."

"we will. After. Be careful cause it's been awhile."

"ok. So earlier when I came back from work I was informed by alexa that mandy had to go to the hospital."

"oh wow why?"

"dehydration. Apparently it's pretty bad. I'ma go visit her tomorrow."

"wow."

"yeah. I wish I could help."

"you're visiting her that's helping."

"no I mean besides that. I wish I could. Like. Idino bring her here and have her drink cup after cup of this delicious chai."

"yeah it is pretty good."

"even though. Rushing her like that won't help. I don't want her to die. But the sad thing is. She already is. She had anorexia last. er. Not last 2 2 yrs. Ago was when it started. And then she switched to bullimia over the summer. So she eats she's eating now. At first I thought it was great ya know like oh thank god she's eating. But that was before I read up on what bullimia can do. It's a lot easier to hide."

"mmmhmm."

"she was so sick then. It worried me. She still it and it still does. But she doesn't look that sick. God when she did...fuk jesse wanted to. There were times she got so sick he wanted to make her go to the hospital. Which legally we can do. But I didn't. I felt she should have control over what goes on in her body what happens to it."

"oh. Wow."

"yeah."

"so you agreed to not let her get help?"

"no she always had that option. But we both agreed it was her choice."

"oh. Wow. That's um different."

"yeah and it's still that way. I even asked her earlier. What she thought of goingto the hospital. And she felt she needed to so."

"mmm right."

"yeah. Um so."

"so annabelle seems sweet."

"she is she's really nice."

"is she always that nice or was she putting on airs?"

"well both. She was being polite cause she'd just met you but she's also just really nice."

"wow. And right. She's so small."

"yeah she also has an. I'm sorry i've been talking about myself this whole time. Really please jump in anytime."

"no it's ok I like listening to you. Seems like you couold really use it right now. Or like ever."

"oh ok. Sometimes I don't know when to stop."

"it's ok me either. Again i'm an addict, I have beenfor a long time. Want to move to the sofa?"

"yeah ok. um."

"i'll get our drinks and stuff. You just sit down."

"oh ok."

I went over to a long black sofa and settled in.


	38. Chapter 35

Nick came w/ our drinks his beer and my pink one and set them on the table in front of the sofa. He then went and got some fries he'd ordered.

"oh thank you wow," I said surprised.

"uh huh," he said settling in next to me.

"ya know i'm not a big beer fan. Save for guiness now guiness I love. I like wine though."

"yeah i'm ok w/ beer."

"so do I owe you anything?"

"for this or...?"

"well this and the. The snow later on."

"oh. If you want to pay me back the way you were doing...back then...that'd be ok."

"yeah I should warn you it probably won't mean a whole lot. I'm into the ladies now."

"hey w/e works."

"ok."

I ate some of the fries. They were good. They were warm. They tasted weird w/ my drink.

"we could watch the earth come up," I said holding a fry in my fingers and settling back into the sofa.

"uh we'd have to go to the coast to do that and what?" nick asked.

"it's from a song a like."

"oh."

the cafe had suddenly become more crowded. It was fri. night and everyone was off work or w/e. Good thing we'd gotten our stuff early.


	39. Hannah: fri nov 30th

Hannah

The super cold day after thanksgiving news pot

It was fri. dec. 2 and gavin, eric and I were at erics smoking. We were inside since it was so cold out it was super cold.

"how ya doin?" eric asked me.

"I don't know but I do know," I answered.

"yeah I get that."

I was digesting the news I'd gotten earlier today from jesse, his friend mark and their friend lacy. Apparently I was lacy and marks daughter. Theyd hooked up in college.

"I mean. id always wondered who my parents were. And I always wanted to find out but I. also liked the whole mystery of not knowing. When I didn't know then they could've been anyone."

"yeah it's a lot to take in," gavin said.

"hey the holidays are hard on a lot of people," eric said.

"thanks."

"it explains where your love of Greece comes from. And why you look like your….er. Lacy."

"who you've not yet met."

"well hey if you want we could all go out to dinner later. And we'll get stoned first, so."

"mmm maybe."

"ok."


	40. karen: wed dec 5th: karaoke

Karen

it was wed. oct. 3rd. I was at karaoke sitting w/ judy, annabelle, pam, emma and rachel's dads. We all had our drinks on the table. mr. schue was up there about to start singing. He sang rap. Which turns out he wasn't good at but he enjoyed himself.

"wow he's bad," I said.

"yeah and he knows he is according to rachel," rachel's dad told me.

"but he sure has fun," pam said leaning back against me.

It felt weird having her be physical. The only people I was physical w/ were some of my children and not in the good way.

"it's been awhile," pam said.

"yeah it has. i-" I began but was interrupted by her.

"no stay."

whenever I got uncomfortable I wanted to leave.

She got my drink off the table and held it up to my mouth.

"here drink. It'll help. Well maybe," she told me.

And I did.

When mr. schue was done everyone clapped including us. He came back to the table. I looked at him.

"yeah I know I can't rap. I'm fully aware," he said.

"oh but you enjoy yourself up there," emma said.

"yeah you sure have fun," pam said.


	41. jesse: thurs dec 6th

Jee

It wa 2 a.m. on fri. nov. 14th when I woke up to my phone ringing.

"yeah?" I aked sleepily anwering it.

"hi will yoou come pick me up?" karen aked.

"um. Where are you?"

"evan won't any more. Bar."

Well that wa helpful. Which bar?

"which bar?" I aked.

He told me.

"yeah ill be there by 3."


	42. dianna: thurs dec 6th

Dianna

it was a wk. After thanksgiving. I'd started getting sick and I knew why. I had morning sickness. I'd had it before. My dad had sexually hurt me during winter break. It wasn't the first time he had. No one knew. I knew I needed to get out I knew I needed to stay somewhere. I tried talking to cory but he didn't want to talk. Puck and rachel had both been great though. Since puck didn't have a place of his own yet I didn't have a placee to stay. Well I did but he didn't want me staying in his trailer. He thought his mom might make it worse when she was either not there at all or when she was she hurt him. Rachel had offered her house. Her dads had always been nice to me. I'd go back to college after the break but in may when I came back I didn't know where i'd go. Chris had been nice to me of course. And even though they didn't know they all wanted to be there for me. So did ashley. Cory and i'd had dinner w/ my parents during which he'd told them I was pregnant. When he found out the baby wasn't his we'd stopped talking. And my parents had kicked me out. This exact thing had happened back in high school only then i'd stayed w/ amber who was in ca. We barely talked. I don't know that when I came back my parents would let me back in their house. I don't even know i'd want to keep it. In the past I hadn't. I had my options of who I could stay w/ but that could only go for so long as I didn't want to overstay my welcome w/ anyone. Maybe i'd stay at rachel's for a wk. Then at chris'. Then ashley's. So I had 3 wks. Taken care of. And then I didn't know. Ok so that was almost all of june. I didn't know about july and august. In the past i'd given one baby to rachel's mom then just left the other. The 3rd time I didn't get pregnant. I wasn't proud of leaving the other one. I'd also learned that my dad had been hurting my sister jessica. She'd told many and she'd been staying w/ ashley's cousin annabelle. He'd already hurt santanna and rachel. I was angry w/ him but I didn't think arresting him would help. It was weird but I loved him. I wanted him away from us but not punished. Maybe i'd go to t he police over the summer tell them and let them handle it. I wouldn't want to be involved.


	43. karen: wed dec 12th: karaoke

Wed. sept.26th

Karen

It was wed. sept. 26th. 2012. I of course was at karaoke w/ pam, mr. schue, emma p, diannas mom judy, rachels dads and annabelle. I hadn't seen annabelle in awhile. It had been almost a yr. Since actually. The last time I saw her was last thanksgiving. She was 25 now had turned 25 back in aug.

we were all at a table drinking. I didn't have a ride back tonight. I'd have to hit up one of my children for one.

"hey I haven't seen you in awhile," I said to annabelle.

"yeah god to see you. You too pam. And everyone else," annabelle told them.

"yeah you too," pam said.

"and you as well," mr. schue said.

"i'll buy you a bday drink," I told annabelle who smiled.

"awww well thank you," she said.

"um yeah it has been awhile. I'm still w/ that guy we've been together almost a yr. In dec. it'll be. A yr.," annabelle continued.

"right," I said.

"he turned 27 back in aug. the um the 9th. I amd still doing what i've been doing the last 2 yrs. Which isn't a whole lot."

"mmmhmm."

"well I do sleep a lot. And go to the store. And watch tv. And well that's pretty much it."

"oh. I. I'm still working where I was. And I drink a lot. More than I should actually. Sometimes it gets to a point i'm not proud of."

"heay we've all been there. I drink a lot too. Same thing. But I get it."

"ok. um I. Idinno if you heard or not but ashley and them are in college," I said.

"yeah I have actually," annabelle said.

oh.

"oh."

"yeah we email back and forth. And call. Like phone."

"mmmhmm."

"i don't know if the guy i'm seeing is coming tonight or not."

"oh. Oh well actually I do have some exciting news," I said.

"oh?" she asked.

"i um. I recently ran into my friend nick from way back when we went to school together."

"oh where?"

"here actually. He's a nice guy honest. But he won't be that honest w/ someone he doesn't know that well."

"oh ok."

"yeah it had been forever."

"wow. It's not often that that happens to me. But it's hard to meet people when you're not in school. Or working. And i'm kinda ok w/ that," annabelle said.

"right," I said.

"well unless you're at a bar. How's work?"

"it's ok."

I got quiet and annabelle turned to pam. The waitress came by and I ordered annabelle a bday drink.


	44. karen: wed dec 12th

Wed. oct. 10th

karen

it was wed. oct. 10th and we were all at karaoke. Emma was up there ready to began the notes of a madonna song moving toward mr. schue as she did so. She walked slowly and sensually while singing. She was cute and the song was like a virgin so I was starting to feel a bit hot and bothered myself. Under the table pam put her hand on my leg.

"oh wow," I said surprised.

I swallowed uncomfortable. But uncomfortable in a good way.


	45. karen: wed dec 19th

Karen

It was. Wed. jan. 8th 2014. I was at karaoke w/ Annabelle and pam. We were sitting where we usually sit. In walked my daughters spanish teacher and the glee club person mr. schue and his girlfriend emma and Dianna mom judy and Rachel dads john and aaron. They came and at by u.

"hi," I said to them.

"hi didn't know you'd be here tonight. Or any other night," mr. schue said.

"oh will. You're so funny," emma said.

"come sit down," pam who was often warmer than I was told them.

And they did.

"good to see you. I haven't in awhile," mr. schue told me,

"um thanks mr. schue," I said.

"please call me will. Have you met emma?"

"hi nice to meet you," emma told me.

"you too this is my girlfriend pam," I told her.

"and this is ahsley cousin Annabelle," pam told emma.

"hi nice to meet you," Annabelle told emma.

"yeah you too. What are you drinking?"

"soco. But only 2. And you?"

"oh. Malibu."

"oh those are good. That was my 1st drink in a bar actually."

"yeah they are. Are you singing tonight?"

"yes are you?" Annabelle asked emma.

That apparently was what she asked every person she met.

"yes are you?"

"yes."

"I'm judy," dianna mom judy told me.

"I know I've seen you around the school," I told her.

"oh."

"and I'm karen. Have you met pam, and Annabelle?"

They exchanged introductions.

"I don't know if you talk to dianna at all but if you do have you?"

Annabelle looked at me.

"um no no I haven't," I told her.

"oh."

"and we're john and aaron," john a dad of Rachel's told me.

"I know," I said.

"oh."

Everyone exchanged introductions and we talked about drinking and singing. Karaoke started. Annabelle was the 5th person, I was the 6th, Annabelle was the 7th, will was the 8th, emma was the 9th, judy was the 10th, john was the 11th and aaron was the 12th


	46. karen: wed jan 8th, 2013

Karen

It wa 4 p.m. on wed. jan. 28th. I wa in my office waiting for my next patient who wa late. Whenever they were more than 30 min. late I got paid extra. I made $60 a minute a a therapit and I worked 8 hr. a day o that wa $480 a day, working 5 day a wk. which wa $2, 400 a wk. and that wa. $9,600 a month. I wa drinking. Thi wa the firt wk. I wa drinking before karaoke. I wa drinking a cup of green apple vodka. It wa good. It took me 20 min. to drink it. And then I popped a mint. And then when work wa over at 5. I drank another one. Popped another mint. And then when I got to my houe at 6 I had another drink and had again another mint. And then at 7. And at 8. O I had 8 drink a night once weekly. Well it want terrible.


	47. hannah: thurs jan 9th, 2013

Hannah

it was the next day and school had just ended. My friends and I were going to my place to smoke and shoot up. On our way out the school I saw a guy leaning against the building smoking. He was thin in jeans and an open purple striped button down.

"hey," I said to him.

"hey what's goin on?" he replied.

"we're just going to my place. And you?"

"just lookin for somethin to do."

"oh. You smoke? I mean besides cigs."

"yeah actually."

"you shoot?"

"no. I did, once. But not anymore."

"oh. You wanna come? And smoke w/ us I mean not shoot."

"yeah sure ok."

he stood.

"i'm hannah. And this is gavin, eric and leo," I introduced.

"hey nice to meet all of you. Evan," he said.

"yeah you too," I said speaking on behalf of all of us: "so what do you do?"

"oh nothing right now. Keep annabelle entertained keepj essica safe."

"you know jessica?"

"yeah."

"that's my sister mandy's friend."

"i know i've met mandy too. She's really nice."

"yeah she is. And obviously you know annabelle."

"yeah obviously. Thank you."

we all laughed.

"so my parents will be there but they're cool w/ us smoking," I told him.

"oh ok."

now that he was standing I saw how tall he was.

"damn it's cold," he said.

And it was.

"you...you don't have a winter coat," I said looking at him: "i'd offer you mine but then i'd be cold."

"no it's alrite i'm used to this."

"ok."


	48. Hannah: thurs jan 9th, 2013: karen

Hannah

It wa the morning of fri. jan. 16th. It wa 2:20 a.m. gavin, leo, evan and I were all awake and toned. My phone rang.

"yeah?" I aked anwering it.

"will you pick me up?" it wa karen.

"um yeah ok. Where are you?"

"bar."

"ok I'll be there by 3."

We hung up.

I looked at evan: "you drive?"

"no and I don't have a car," he replied.

"oh. Damnit."

"you don't want to pick up karen," gavin tated.

"no I really don't. actually."


	49. karen: thurs jan 17th, 201

Karen

It was thurs. nov. 10th and the bar was closed. Nov. 17th. The bar was closed. I'd gone to karaoke last night and had decided not to drive back for once. The past 4 times i'd driven back to my house drunk. Last night was the first time I sang at karaoke. It went well. I sang a cute light song. It had been awhile since i'd sung so I wasn't sure how it'd go. My family knew i'd been going. Each time I saw annabelle there. And each time she sang. Last night had gone well. It was interesting as usual even though this only my 5th time there. Tonight i'd go to milo's. And then next wed. pam would come w/ me to both places.

I was going to make the long walk from where the bar was at on oneida to our house up on 7th. Just 2 blocks from where annabelle's parents lived. I'd driven to karaoke drunk and at some point someone would have to come get my car. I wondered how long it would take to get to my house. It took 15 mins. To drive there. The morning was dark and cold. And quiet. I had my long coat and boots on but I was also drunk which made it colder than it actually was. It was 2 a.m. As I walked up oneida to leetsdale which I knew would take me to 1st it started to snow. It had already snowed this winter. The snow made the world brighter than it actually was since the lampost lights reflected off it. I knew from talking w/ her this was something annabelle would take a photo of.

Halloween had gone well. As had my daughters' shows. Although I hadn't spent much time w/ my daughters other than anna i'd seen mandy's new friend lia around the house. We'd briefly met. Mandy and ashley's friends came by a lot other than pansy. I'd liked her she was always so polite. Her mom was a few yrs. Older than I was. I think the reason she never came by was bc she didn't want to eat. I'd watched her mom margo go through the same thing growing up. I had gone through it too so I related to both her and mandy although mandy and I never talked about it. No the main person I talked to was anna. And the hospital staff. The other night when I got in from work anna had needed to go to the hospital. Alexa was put out that I wasn't there for anna. But I wasn't going to miss work. Though I had last yr. And now I had a whole lot of it to make up for. I missed it for kate last yr. I was the one who made the most money. I'd been knocking mandy down but she was so easy to knock down. Well not as easy now that she'd gained the weight back. She didn't know this but when I was up at night drinking in the house I heard her purging. Or even if she did know we never talked about it. I didn't feel I had to be as careful w/ mandy. Yes she was sick but she was also old enough to take care of herself.

I checked my phone. It was 2:20 a.m. And I was now on leetsdale which was a long street. I knew the driving directions which I used to help me now. I'd keep going straight and then hit alameda and colorado go into 1st which was in cheryr creek. I'd turn right when I got to the mall and walk the 7 blocks to my house. I kept walking.

Even though I wasn't careful w/ mandy I was w/ her friend pansy although they were the same age. Pansy was still in the hospital she had been since sept. i'd visited her most every day after I got to my house and had dinner. Then on wed. I got ready for karaoke. Her aunt vanessa had flown in and was staying at pansy's. She was a nice lady. A lot warmer than I was. I still don't know why pam hadn't told me about pansy. And I was still put out by jesse's not having told me before he told mandy. Although he was right she did deserve to know and I wouldn't've told her.


	50. mandy: sun jan 18, 2013

Mandy

It wa un. Jan. 18th. We were all itting down in the big table in the kitchen having the pata dinner dad had made for u. 'we' being tom, alexa, roe, lily, evan, Rebecca, Hannah, eric, louia, cherie, mom, dad, anna, kate, adam and I. pam and jennifer were elsewhere.

Tom looked over at mom. Alexa followed hi gaze. Roe followed her and o on. Mom wa drinking wine. I knew he often melled like alcohol but thi wa the firt time I'd ever been around her when hed been drinking.

"o um," tom began uncomfortably, "how' the wine?"

"oh it' v. good. It' a great winter wine. It' merlot, mom aneed.

"I want ome," alexa aid.

"no alexa," oe told her.

"why are you telling me no when you're younger?"

"if omething happen to mom…..you're the next lady of the houe ince ahley moved out."

"and Hannah and I already have," lily aid.

"he ha a point," evan aid.

"well im moving out too," alexa aid.

"not untill next yr."

"you want ome wine tom?" Rebecca aked him politely.

"uh. No thank you," he replied.

"I've never een mom drink," Hannah aid.

"ive never een your mom drink either. Louia on the other hand…" eric aid.

I knew louia and I were in pain from our mom hurting u earlier that day.


	51. Feb: Mandy

feb.: mandy

it was a day in feb. I was at jessica's again getting stuff for one of my classes. I was in her room when I heard footsteps come down the hall. I moved the stuff quietly hoping it wouldn't attract the attention of whoever was coming down the hall. But that didn't happen. I felt someone enter the room. Whoever it was came closer to me and grabbed my arm and threw me against the wall hard. I turned and saw whoever it was leave. Whoever it was was dianna's dad. This was the 2nd time he'd hurt me in the past 2 yrs. It wasn't a lot so I decided not to say anything to anyone.


	52. Karen: thurs feb 28th 2013: after kara

Feb. 28th 2013

karen

it was thurs. feb. 28th 2013 2 a.m. The bar had just closed. Over the past couple of months evan and jesse decided they weren't going to drive me back from the bar anymore. And given how drunk I got each time and what he knew of my past jesse didn't want me taking a cab. My daughters weren't available at this time to call. I'd tried lacy, mark and raven who weren't available. Instead of going towards leetsdale I decided to go towards a park I knew was around here. Maybe I could sleep there. If only for 4 hrs. I had to get back to my house at 7 work started at 9 ended at 5. dinner was at 6 then i'd go visit pansy. Then i'd. Go back to my house get ready for karaoke which started at 9. i'd even started working on stardays same schedule. But I didn't go to karaoke on days that weren't wed. or thurs. I hadn't found a good place to go yet.

As I started walking towards the park it was dark and cold but not snowing. I walked past trees and small apt. buildings and then found the park which wasn't big or well lit. I sat down in the grass somewhat close to the sidewalk and put my purse on the ground. I pulled a shooter out of my purse even though i'd had 4 drinks at the bar. I had more shooters in my purse. I was always drinking them these days whenever I had a chance.

It was so quiet in the park. It was weird. And still. I knew some people would be up and walking by 6. I got used to the quiet after a bit. I kept drinking. My buzz had gone now I just felt dizzy. It had gone a few hrs. ago. Pam had called a cab and asked if I wanted her to wait for me. I hadn't. So she took it back to my house. I finished my shooter pretty quickly and had another one soco. That got my buzz going back up again. All this drinking made me sleepy so I lied down on the grass and slept.

"aunt karen?" I heard someone say.

I opened my eyes to see the blue light of a phone shone in them. I squinted.

"um yeah? I replied.

"sorry. It's annabelle. I know it's dark out. Why are you sleeping out here?"

"um. hi."

I sat up. It took me awhile to remember where I was.

"i um. Didn't want to walk all the way back to my house," I replied.

"they make you walk?"

she was surprised.

"well they don't like. Er 'make' me but in a way yes. It's my only other option."

"oh. Well what time do you have work?"

"it starts at 9."

I wondered what she was doing out here at this hr.

"oh. Well do you want to come to my place for a bit? It's gotta be better than here. Well it's lit anyway. A lot of people will probably be asleep so be quiet."

"um yeah ok."

"ok."

she waited while I stood and collected my things. We began walking to her place.

"what are you doing out at this hr.?" I asked.

"grocery shopping."

"oh."


	53. march: mandy: meeting evan

It was the next day early morning. I was at king's the one in Annabelle's neighborhood. I'd just finished purging and had gone outside. There was a tall thin guy standing smoking a cig.

No one else was out at this hr.

"Hey," he said.

"um. Hi," I said still feeling high from the purge.

"What are you doing out at this hr?"

"I um. Was walking around the store. For no particular reason."

"Oh. Annabelle does that too. You know there's something about you that reminds me of a blonde I know ashley."

"She's my sister actually."

"Oh."

"How do you know her?"

"I met her once briefly. I've always wondered what happened to her."

"Oh. She's in college down in fl. She's coming back for the holidays. Maybe. I don't actually know."

"Oh. You seem happy."

"I am. Well for right now."

"Yeah annabelle. She's the happiest person you'll ever meet when she's happy. And it's magnified when she's high. You smoke?"

"Yeah I know. I've been around her a few times. She's nice. And no. I do drink though," I answered.

"Well any time you need any hit us up. Annabelle won't mind," the guy said.

"Ok. so..." I said.

"Oh i'm evan."

"Oh. I'm mandy. I'm 16."

"i'm 27."

Suddenly this felt v. weird.

"I um I have to go," I aid.

"Oh. Ok."

There wasn't anywhere I actually 'had' to go at this hr. I jut didn't want to be talking to someone who was 27 when I was only 16.


	54. march: mandy

Mandy

it was the next day sat. sept. 7th early morning. I was of course in the bathroom of king's purging. The king's by annabelle's. I'd done this last yr. Too. Mom had stopped hurting louisa, rose and I. She'd stopped last yr. She was now hurting kate and anna. Ashley, lily, rose, hannah and alexa were in college so they weren't here to be hurt. By her. Jessica's dad had stopped hurting us and dianna. But he was still hurting her mom.

Maybe after my time here i'd go to annabelle's. I needed a place to stay for awhile. She'd be there. She was 24.

After I was done purging ileft the bathroom and the store and went to annabelle's. It was so quiet right now. When I got there I knocked on the door since I didn't have a key. Ashley did though. I didn't know if evan would be awake or not. I didn't have anything to do today so I was ok waiting. Tonight seemed really far away. It always does when it's 2 or 4 a.m. I waited a few mins. Then knocked again. No one answered the door. The morning was dark and quiet. The sun would come up at 7 or 8.


	55. march: mandy 2

Mandy

it was 8 a.m. That day. Apparently i'd fallen asleep though I don't remember this. The door opened behind me and I fell onto the floor of the downstairs of annabelle's.

"ow," I said hitting the hard floor.

"sorry bout that. You ok? I thought I heard knocking earlier today but I. Well anyway hi," it was evan.

"yeah I think so. Um wow."

"you were asleep out here?"

"um. Yeah. Fuk I just. I need some place to stay."

"here's fine. I mean i'll talk to anna about but she'll probably say yes."

"i. wow ok," being that i'd just woken up I wasn't able to form a lot of thoughts.

I stood holding onto the railing as I went upstairs. Evan closed the door behind me and followed me upstairs. I sat on the sofa.

"how long you plannin to stay?" he asked.

"idinno few days," I said.

"oh ok. Everything ok?"

"yeah. Just residue from last yr."

"you can tell me, if you...or anna."

"i know. But I just woke up, so."

"right ok."

"i. was actually on my way to my place. I don't know how long i'll be there for. um."

"i'll call you if I need anything."

"ok cool."

he got his stuff together and left.


	56. march: Mandy: annabelle

Mandy

it was the next day and i'd just woken up. For a minute I didn't remember where I was or how i'd gotten there. But apparently I fell asleep in the living room since that's what I saw when I woke up. I heard annabelle in the kitchen.

"oh hi," annabelle said.

"hi," I said.

"i had breakfast earlier. When i woke up but i can make you some if you want," annabelle said.

I got up.

"do you want help w/ anything?" I asked going into the kitchen to get some milk.

"oh no it's ok," annabelle said.

I got the milk out of the fridge and set it on the counter then got a cup down from the cabinet.

"i got that last night when you were sleeping. i didn't know what you wanted so i figured i'll get a few things and then you can have w/e," annabelle said.

"oh."

"yeah i actually don't like milk," she told me: "except in white russians those are good. Or you know milkshakes," annabelle said.

"i've never had one. A white russian I mean," I said pouring the milk.

"wow."

"well i'm not old enough to. I'm 16."

"oh well i'll make you one if you want later."

"um ok."

"i had a few sips of my dad's beer when I was 15. no 14. well I mean he didn't offer it I just. It was in the fridge, so. Had my first drink at 19. and then 21 like you should. The one at 19 was red wine and the one at 21 was um. Chardonnay. That was horrible. And I didn't know enough about drinking at the time to know why I felt horrible. I just knew that I felt it. Yeah and then after. When I came back here I. And i'm rambling. So are you in school or?"

"yeah."

I put the milk back in the fridge. I noticed that there were pants laid out on the living room floor.

"um. Why are there pants on the floor?" I asked.

"oh it's how idry them. Well then I put them in the dryer. But idon't like them being wrinkly when I put them in the dryer," annabelle said.

"oh."

"and I don't like when things hang down."

"oh."

I took my milk into the living room which was a lot less crowded than the kitchen.

"it's ok if i eat in here right?" I asked.

"oh yeah.

"ok."

evan got to work on the eggs.

"and anywhere you're curious about it's ok if you look in there except for again my room," annabelle told me.

"ok," I said.


	57. Chapter 56

Mandy

i'd been at annabelle's the last 4 days counting the day i'd arrived. Yesterday when I woke up there was a note from annebelle telling me she;d gone to starbucks thenthe chinese place then the park and weren't sure when she'd be back. And she;d gotten me starbucks. I explored the neighborhood leaving her a note stating that.

The day before yesterday i'd. When I woke up annabelle had left me a note. She was at chipotle then she'd gone to the store. There was chipotle in the fridge for me. And then the day before that there was a note saying annebelle was at the store.


	58. april: london

**Ashley**

**It was a day in April and we'd just arrived in London. We were in the lobby of the hotel we were staying at in the west end.**

"W**ow it's colder here," Rachel said.**

"I** know that's what my cousin told me after she'd come back. She went here a few yrs. Ago," I saif.**

"E**veryone seems to be nice even though we haven't been here that long," Mandy said.**

"W**ow i'm tired," amber said.**

"Y**eah it'll take like. 8 days. . Cause it's 8 hrs. ahead here and," Tina said.**

"Y**eah I know."**

"O**h. ok."**

"S**o what does everyone want to do?" Mr. Schue asked.**

"W**ell I want to see some shows," chris said.**

"M**e too," dianna sad.**


	59. may: mandy: at jessica

Mandy

When I got to jessica's her mom was in the kitchen getting a coffee cup out of the cabinet.

"Oh hello, she said when she heard me come in.

She seemed startled.

"Just getting some tea," she told me.

"That's fine," I said wondering why she seemed apologetic and afraid: "um listen. So jessica won't be staying here for awhile. She's staying w/ ashley's cousin who I don't think you've met. If she needs anything she'll text ashley who can get at me or um dianna."

"Ashley ashley...do I know her?"

"She's dianna's friend from school. She's blonde pretty."

"Oh her. Yeah i've seen her around the school a few times but not lately."

"Oh she's in college in fl I don't know if dianna told you or not," I said.

"Oh ok."

"I think I left my books here so i'm going...up to dianna's room."

"Yeah that's fine. Good to see you," jessica's mom told me.

"Yeah you too," I told her.

She was a nice lady but reserved.

When I got upstairs I started down the hall to dianna's room. I was met by a surprise. Dianna's dad seemingly came out of nowhere grabbed me and put me against the wall trapping me for awhile. When he was sure i'd stay he hit me. And then he left. I was so shocked that I didn't react.


	60. may: mandy: jessica

It was the night of sat. sept. 16th. The fall dance was a wk. away from yesterday. Jessica and I were standing in front of annabelle's front door. Jessica was nervous about meeting annabelle letting her know what'd happened.

I rang the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" I heard annabelle call from the living room upstairs.

"So am I staying here or...?" jessica asked as we waited.

"Yeah she hould be ok w/ it," I told her.

"oh. ok."

"Hey is it ok if I stop by your place later? I might've left my books there," I asked.

"Yeah ok. Um be careful. Hey will you get some of my things? I don't know how long i'm going to be here for and I don't want to go back there," jessica replied.

"Yeah ok."

"Text call if you need. Actually my phone..."

"No i'll get at annabelle. Or adam."

"Ok."

The door opened and there stood annabelle.

"Hi come in. mandy right? Good to see you. And who's this?" she told us stepping back inside so we could.

"Hi yeah you too. Um this is my friend jessica dianna's sister. Ashley's friend. That dianna," I explained.

"Right. Drink?"

"um just a cup for me," I looked at jessica.

"I don't drink. Well not yet. I'm jessica," jessica introduced.

"And i'm annabelle so nice to meet you."

"Yeah you too."

We went inside and went up the stairs. we got to the living room as I didn't see him there.

"You know where the drinks are."

"Yeah I do."

One thing about annabelle was that. She was a big believer in if you want something done do it yourself. She didn't even like when other people offered their guests something to drink.

"You're welcome to anything that's in the kitchen. Or bathroom. or. Anywhere really just don't go in my room," annabelle told jessica.

"Oh. Ok," jessica said.

She looked around as I got myself a drink.

"Nice place," she said.

"Thank you."

"I um was wondering."

annabelle looked at her: "yes?"

"If it would be ok w/ you if I stayed here for awhile. I...my dad..."

"Mandy will you?" annabelle began looking at me.

She was saying she wanted me to excuse myself.

"Yeah ok."

"thank you."

I took my drink went down the stairs and waited outside.


	61. jessica: at annabelle

Jessica

Mandy was still outside. I'd just finished telling annabelle my story. She'd been really sweet when I told her really understanding.

"So um who else is here?" I asked looking around the room.

"oh just me," annabelle answered.

"Oh."

"You can stay here as long as you need to. Long as someone knows where you're at which someone does."

"Ok."

although I didn't drink a drink sounded good right now.

"It's so. Quiet," I said.

"Yeah that's what I like about it. And not always."

"Oh."

it smelled like pot.

"It smells like pot," I stated.

"Yeah i just finished smoking. i do that a lot. I don't know if you smoke cigs or not but if you do smoke them outside."

"Ok. Wow it's warm in here."

"Always is. I, really don't like the cold."

annabelle was small so that made sense.

At that moment someone knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" annabelle called.

"It's me," mandy said.

"Oh. Come in."  
she came in.

I turned to mandy.

"Hey will you tell my mom i'm here? And dianna if she asks?"

"Yeah ok."

"So what do you do?" I asked annabelle.

"um not a whole lot. i drink we smoke go to the store, chipotle. Fast food places. Um on wed. and thurs. I go to karaoke though I gather you're not old enough to enter a bar. But yeah that's it. Oh and I watch a lot of tv."

"Oh. And no i'm not. I got 6 more yrs."

"Oh. ok."

"um food's in the kitchen you're welcome to anything that's anywhere except my room don't go in there. And whenever you go somewhere let us know in some form post its are in a kitchen drawer."

"Ok."

"i think that about covers it."

"Ok. Oh hey do you have mandy's #?" I asked.

"um not but I have ashley's so I can get at either dianna or mandy through her."

"Ok."

"Well...i'm going to go if i'm not needed here," mandy said.

"Ok. Good luck at my house," I told her.

"Mandy again it was good to see you," annabelle said.

"If you need anything just have annabelle get at..." mandy told me.

"Yeah I will."

mandy left.


	62. Jessica: sat

Jessica

it was the next day sat. and i'd just woken up. For a minute I didn't remember where I was or how i'd gotten there. But apparently I fell asleep in the living room since that's what I saw when I woke up. I heard annabelle and evan talking in the kitchen.

"oh hi," annabelle said.

"hi," I said.

"hey," evan said.

"we had breakfast earlier. When we woke up but we can make you some if you want. He makes the best eggs," annabelle said.

"well idinno if they're the best. But yeah they're pretty good."

"um ok," I said.

I got up.

"do you want help w/ anything?" I asked going into the kitchen to get some milk.

"i'll move out of your way," evan said moving.

"oh no it's ok," annabelle said.

"ok," I said.

I got the milk out of the fridge and set it on the counter then got a cup down from the cabinet.

"we got that last night when you were sleeping. We didn't know what you wanted so we figured we'll get a few things and then you can have w/e," annabelle said.

"oh."

"yeah she actually doesn't like milk," evan told me.

"yeah except in white russians those are good. Or you know milkshakes," annabelle said.

"i've never had one. A white russian I mean," I said pouring the milk.

"wow."

"well i'm not old enough to. But maybe next yr. When i'm 16. well I still won't be old enough to drink anywhere but. W/e."

"i had a few sips of my dad's beer when I was 15. no 14. well I mean he didn't offer it I just. It was in the fridge, so. Had my first drink at 19. and then 21 like you should. The one at 19 was red wine and the one at 21 was um. Chardonnay. That was horrible. And I didn't know enough about drinking at the time to know why I felt horrible. I just knew that I felt it. Yeah and then after. When I came back here I. And i'm rambling. So are you in school or?"

"well I was. But like I said w/ my dad."

"right."

I put the milk back in the fridge. I noticed that there were pants laid out on the living room floor.

"um. Why are there pants on the floor?" I asked.

"oh it's how idry them. Well then I put them in the dryer. But idon't like them being wrinkly when I put them in the dryer," annabelle said.

"oh."

"and I don't like when things hang down."

"oh."

I took my milk into the living room which was a lot less crowded than the kitchen.

"i can eat in here right?" I asked.

"oh yeah.

"ok."

evan got to work on the eggs.

"and anywhere you're curious about it's ok if you look in there except for again my room," annabelle told me.

"ok," I said.


	63. Jessica: sun

Sun.

it was the next day. Sun. again i'd just woken up. The place was quieter then it'd been and I didn't see annabelle around anywhere. I didn't know if she were in her room or what but if she was she was quiet. I saw a piece of paper on the green sofa and went over and read it.

'jessica,' it read; 'i'm at the store'.


	64. Tues: exploring

Tues.

it was tues. and again i'd just woken up. I again saw a white piece of paper on the sofa and went and read it:

'jessica,' it read: 'i went to starbucks then the chinese place then the park. i'm not sure when i'll be back. i got you starbucks microwave it. Call if you need anything'.

It was in annabelle's handwriting.

I again went to the fridge and got the unmarked starbucks cup out. I put in the microwave and set the time for a minute. Even though i'd been here this was now my 4th day I hadn't yet explore the place. There wasn't a whole lot to explore well not in the living room or hallway. It was still weird not being in school. Or at my house. Or getting ready for school.

While the microwave whirred I went downstairs where there were 3 doors. 1 right in front of me at the foot of the stairs and 2 on either side. The 1 to my right was the front door. I wondered what the other 2 were. It was a lot colder downstairs than upstairs. I opened the door to the left. I found it was hard to open. And when I opened it I also discovered it was the door to the garage. I then closed it and opened the door at the foot of the stairs. It was a sliding one. I discovered it was a coat closet w/ a shelf on the top. I closed it just as the microwave beeped. I went back upstairs. There were about 20 of them. No wonder annabelle looked so good w/ climing them all the time. I went to the microwave and got my beverage out and slowly drank it. It was hot chocolate. When I was done I left it on the counter since I didn't know what annabelle did w/ them.

After that I. Opened the overhead kitchen cabinets discovering there were dishes in them some plastic and light some not. Some bowls, coffee cups. Regular cups. She had a lot of dishes for just 1 person. There were some spices in the cabinets and some on the microwave, cinnamon and cayenne. On the counter there were a lot of cans of food. Refried beans, green beans, corn, beets. On a ledge above the counter was the microwave. Annabelle had 2 dish racks for some reason one which had dishes in it and was to the right of the sink. The dishwasher was right next to the sink. I'd never seen her actually do the dishes but somehow they were always in the dishrack. The one to the right of the sink.

There were cabinets next to the dishwasher. And below the sink there was 1. there was a post it on it reading 'don't go in here'. I wondered why. To the left of the sink was the stove/oven and to the left of that were drawers. Above the sink was a window. And that was the kitchen.

Down the hall from the kitchen was the bathroom. Along the wall to the right were 2 closets 1 bigger they both had sliding doors. I went and looked in them. 1 was bigger it was a utility closet. The other was smaller it was a linen closet though it didn't hold much linens. It had lady products, bottles of pills, medical tape, that kindof thing. There were about 5 shelves in it.

I went into the small white cold bathroom. There was a tub and a toilet then the sink. Above the sink was a mirror. When I looked closer I found it had hinges on 1 side. So the mirror was actually a door. I opened it and discovered it was a mdeicine cabinet though it didn't have any medicine in it. It had make up un it. I closed the door/mirror. Below the sink were cabinets. I sat down on the floor and opened them. They contained mainly big bottles. of. Shampoo, conditioner and body wash. I closed that and left the bathroom closing the door in the process.

I then decided to go explore the neighborhood. I'd been here 4 days already and didn't know where anything was.


	65. may

Mon.

it was mon. and again i'd just woken up. It was weird not being in school. Or at my house on a mon. or getting ready for school. I hadn't left annabelle's although I guess I could I had the option to they weren't like. Stopping me or anything.

It was quiet in the place. I looked over and again saw a white piece of paper on the sofa. I went over and read it.

'jessica,', it read: ' I went to chipotle then the store again. i'm not sure when i'm be back. There's chipotle in the fridge for you. Call if you need us'.

Well I was hungry and food sounded good esp. chipotle. I went to the fridge opened it and saw the chipotle and 2 sodas 1 which was marked one had an 'a' on it. so the unmarked one was mine. I also saw a brown paper bag from there. It was also unmarked as I discovered when I turned it around and looked at it. I took my soda and the paper bag out of the fridge and set them on the counter closing the fridge in the process. I got out a plate and put it on the counter. Then opened the bag and saw there were chips and guacomole in it. I set the items on the plate.


	66. March 7th

Ashley

It was the following sat. march 7th. Id just come into my house to find dianna lying in my bed holding a shot of what looked like vodka.

"um. How'd you get in?" I asked.

"your brother let me in," she replied.

"oh. Where's everyone else?"

"I don't know."

"do they know yore here?"

"yeah um amber does."

"oh. How long you been here?"

"awhile. I got sick on your blanket," she said smiling.

Wow she was drunk.

"oh I also brought my own. Um. Vodka."

Ok while I realise she was drunk I also commended her honesty.

She put the shot glass down on my bedside table stuck her finger in it and began running it up and down her skin. She was acting v. strange.

"um. What are you doing?" I asked.

"cleaning. And I'm also hot."

She didn't have any visible cuts on her that I could tell.

"honey you're drunk," I told her.

She was still smiling.

"yes thank you mrs. Wilson."

And yet. She was still able to hold a conversation.

She was referring to lois Wilson the co-founder of AA.

"and you're 2 months away from giving birth. I hope for your sake you get an abortion. And for the baby's."

"don't tell me what to do," she said sitting and taking a shot.

"actually. I think it's too late. You can't have one at 7 months."

She took another shot.

"you have coat hangers right?" she asked.

"you're not going to use any of ours. And I hope to god you have a miscarriage. As much as I hate to say it and I do. But you have got to get into the bathroom in case you get sick again."

She got out of my bed and carefully made her way out of the room down the hall and into the bathroom. I heard her close and lock the door then turn on the faucet.


	67. Jessica: thurs march 22nd

Jessica

it was thurs. march 22nd. I was in the living room of annabelle's not doing much of anything. She was in her room. She came out and went into the kitchen.

"hey listen," she said as she opened the fridge.

"yeah?" I asked looking her way.

"so tom. Morning my aunt karen will be staying w/ us for a few days. It's just. Better for her in a way. She has work at 9 and she won't get back until 6 but then she has work at 8. from 8 – 10. she's a psychologist. She works every day except sun. well and on wed. and thurs. nights she doesn't work."

"yeah I know. She's mandy's mom."

"oh. Oh that's right ok so you do know who she is."

annabelle took some raspberries out of the fridge and set them on the counter.

"well anyway. The reason i'm saying this is so if you want to stay somewhere else it's ok w/ us. I mean she won't be here a lot but idinno how you feel about another person staying here. Evan says it's ok if you stay at his place for awhile."

"ok," I said: "as in I got the message not as in i'm going to do that. Well I might idinno."

"right."

"where will she sleep?"

"well that's the thing. Evan and i'd sleep in my room and she'd sleep in here, so. If you want to stay here that's ok too."

"ok," I said: "idinno yet."

"yeah I know. I'm just letting you know."

"oh. ok."


	68. Chapter 72

Jessica

it was a day in july. I'd been staying w/ annaballe the past few months.

"hey listen," she said.

"yeah?" I asked.

"as you know my cousin ashley's friend dianna's staying w/ us. I don't know if you want to continue staying here or not. you can stay at evan's place if you want he'd be ok w/ that."

"um. Yeah I think I will," I said.

"ok."


	69. dianna: sun nov 8th: at annabelle

Dianna

I left Ashley and went to my friend Annabelle's. I'd taken the bus there. I knew she might have soco. He was ahley's cousin. It was 10:20 when I got to her place. Her friend evan was elsewhere. I'd met them last yr when she was 23 and he was 25. she was now 24 and he was 26. I was in the living room.

"hi um I can't stay long but puck wanted soco. And some for later," I told Annabelle.

"um. Who's puck?" she asked.

"oh he's a friend of mine."

"oh."

"o do you have any or….?"

"uh no and right before you arrived I was going to go to the liquor store actually. They close at 11. Yeah I'll get you some. If you're ok waiting," he told me.

She seemed put out and I wasn't sure why.

"um ok. The buses don't stop running unill 1 anyways, so."

"ok. I'll be back by 11."

"ok."

She left.


	70. Chapter 69

Aug.

santanna

It was a warm aug. morning. It was 2 a.m. I'd told Rachel I knew of a place she could stay for awhile where she'd be away from dianna's dad. We were at annabelle's place.

"you always come over here this early?" she asked.

"yeah. she's alrite w/ it. Annabelle is just lovely," I told her.

"uh. Ok."

I knocked on the door.

"yeah come in," Annabelle said.

I tried the door and found that it was unlocked. They'd learned to expect me.

"hey I brought a friend," I said coming in and closing the door behind us.

"ok."

"wow it's warm in here," Rachel said.

"yeah I know. She, doesn't like it being cold," I said.

"I know but for aug. Wow."

"yeah. I know."

We went up the stairs and into the living room. Rachel introduced herself to annabelle.

"so uh. How do you know dianna?" annabelle asked.

"school."

"oh."

"so um we have whiskey if you want some. And help yourself to anything that's in the kitchen," Annabelle said.

"ok."

"so what's goin on?" Annabelle asked.

"I'm gonna go," I said.

"ok."

I left.


	71. Chapter 46

Dianna

It was an hr. later that morning 2 a.m. and id just woken up. I don't remember going to sleep. I was in the bathroom. The dance had ended last night at 40 past midnight.

I didn't know if lia and the others had gone to sleep or not. I heard the tv on in the living room. I didn't remember what was on tv at this hr.

Sometime between thurs. and fri. I'd finally stopped bleeding. I felt a little better than I had but I was still shaky and weak. I think part of that was at my house I was always afraid. And at mandy's and Ashley's there were always things going on moreso at mandy's. My phone was still off. I was thirsty and looked down and saw I still had half a cup of liquor left. I think that's the last thing I remember doing before going to sleep was drinking. Annabelle and her friend sure had a lot of liquor. But it was nice they knew I drank so I didn't have to hide it. And that no one would be upset w/ me for it.

I wondered if we had any more weed. I picked up the drink and had more.

I heard someone in the living room.

"hey how's your ankle?" it was Annabelle.

"still sore," lia answered.

So she was who'd been watching tv.

"yeah it'll take awhile."

"yeah I know. Hey thanks for letting me stay."

"oh yeah. Of course. Is dianna awake do you know?"

"um I don't."

"oh."

I was cold and dizzy and wanted a blanket.

"hey dianna?" I heard Annabelle call.

"yeah I'm awake," I said.

"oh ok. Good cause I want a drink."

"um ok hold on."

"ok."

I slowly stood and left the bathroom holding my drink. Annabelle went in to get herself more whiskey. It occured to me that I could tell puck about what my dad had been doing. I went to get my phone to text him. I wondered where Annabelle's friend had gone.

"hey where'd your friend go?" I asked Annabelle.

Id arrived at my purse.

"smoke break," she told me.

"oh. Hey do we have any more weed?" I asked taking my phone out of my purse and turning it on.

"yeah I could use some too," lia said from the sofa.

"uh yeah I think so. I'll go check," Annabelle said going into her room.

"ok."

I texted puck then turned my phone off and put it back in my purse.

"so uh hi," I said looking at lia.

"hi," she said.

"I'm dianna," I said feeling weird introducing myself.

"yeah I know. We go to the same school."

"oh. Well I didn't know what else to say so."

"right."

"hey do you know where the blankets are?"

"um they should be in her room. Yeah I'm cold too."

And it wasn't even that cold in the house.

"yeah I know. Well not weighing a lot will do that to you."

"yeah. Everyone keeps telling me how small I am but they forget to factor in the loss," lia said.

The loss? I wondered.

At that moment Annabelle came out of her room.

"hey we got more weed. And yes I do have blankets in my room. And I'm, going out for a smoke break," she told us.

"ok."

She left.

"anything good on tv?" I asked.

"no not really. I just. didn't want to think," lia answered.

"oh. Yeah I know what that's like. Um. What loss?"

"um. A yr. ago my besst friend. Um sshe. Lefft."

"oh wow."

"yeah she was 18 and so am I."

So lia was a yrr. Older than I was. A senior.

"um. She, had an eating disorder that's how…."

"right," I said getting it.


	72. Chapter 70

Rachel

It a mon. oct. 10th early morning. I was over at Annabelle's again. I knocked on the door thinking maybe they were expecting me but I wasn't sure. This was the 3rd time I'd gone over there. dianna dad had hurt me. Again. The morning was dark and cold. I was crying and shaken.

I a about to knock again when the door opened and there stood Annabelle.

"hi good to see you again. Um. What happened?" she asked letting me in.

"vodka," I said going up the stairs.

Tears made my vision blurry.

I went to the linen closet where they kept the plastic cups got one out and poured myself some green apple. I drank it. Annabelle looked at me expectantly waiting.

"um. Dianna's dad. hurt me again," I told her.

"oh wow. When?" Annabelle asked: "are you I mean are you ok? Er well obviously you're not ok but I mean. um."

"I'm not bleeding anymore if that's what you mean. I haven't changed my clothes or anything since apparently you're not supposed to do that."

"mmmhmm."

"um."

"honey if this ****continue ****to happen maybe you should go to the hospital. I'm not telling you what to do I just. Um. well it's not a bad plan."

"I know I just I mean .."

"do you have anything?"

"I don't know I haven't been checked," I told her.

"oh. Well do you have anywhere to stay?"

"well there's my place but I don't want my dads knowing. I'm going to college next yr. I might a well figure things out on my own."

"yeah I know how that is."

"also he might find me at my house, so."

"right. Well there's always here. It'll be a bit crowded w/ 3 but it. It's fairly safe."

"ok."

"are you in any pain?"

"yeah I am," I aid sipping more of the vodka.

"ok um. We have like. Advil. Or I don't know if you smoke weed but we have that too. Although you really shouldn't mix alcohol and pill but I presume you already know that and I wont. I won't stop you. That's not something I do."

"ok."


	73. Chapter 71

Aug.

santanna

It was a warm aug. morning. It was 2 a.m. I'd told Rachel I knew of a place she could stay for awhile where she'd be away from dianna's dad. We were at annabelle's place.

"you always come over here this early?" she asked.

"yeah. she's alrite w/ it. Annabelle is just lovely," I told her.

"uh. Ok."

I knocked on the door.

"yeah come in," Annabelle said.

I tried the door and found that it was unlocked. They'd learned to expect me.

"hey I brought a friend," I said coming in and closing the door behind us.

"ok."

"wow it's warm in here," Rachel said.

"yeah I know. She, doesn't like it being cold," I said.

"I know but for aug. Wow."

"yeah. I know."

We went up the stairs and into the living room. Rachel introduced herself to annabelle.

"so uh. How do you know dianna?" annabelle asked.

"school."

"oh."

"so um we have whiskey if you want some. And help yourself to anything that's in the kitchen," Annabelle said.

"ok."

"so what's goin on?" Annabelle asked.

"I'm gonna go," I said.

"ok."

I left.


	74. Chapter 11

Mandy

fri. sept. 21

it was fri. and i'd stopped by annabelle's that morning.

"hey listen," she said.

"yeah?"

"as you know jessica's staying w/ us. I don't know if you want to continue staying w/ us or not. either way is fine."

"no I think. I'm going to go back to my house for now."

"ok."


	75. Dianna: jessica tells me

Dianna

It wa wed. july 29th.

I'd just gotten a text from my younger sister jessica; need to talk where r u?

Park Monaco. Leets by it I texted back.

Ok.

I wondered what she wanted to talk about. I sat there in the park waiting. . My dad had finally stopped hurting us. After a yr. and almost a month of doing so. I'd settled into Annabelle's. Where apparently Rachel and santanna had stayed though not together. Things had finally calmed down.

I was of course drinking. It was dark. I was drinking peppermint schnapps of course. I wondered how Jessica was getting here.

A few mins. later she walked toward me.

"hey," she said.

"hi," I said.

"I haven't seen you in awhile."

"yeah I know it has been. So what's goin on?" I asked.

Jessica looked around then at the drink in my hand. She seemed nervous.

"hey is it cool if I have some?" she asked.

"um. But you're. 14," I said surprises.

"yeah well you're 18. You're not legal either where'd you get that?"

"a friend."

"oh. Well?"

"what?"

"is it cool if I have some?" she repeated getting annoyed.

"well no….but I'll let you have some anyway," I said.

I handed her the shooter and she downed it.

"wow," I said surprised.

I had more. I always had more.

"dad's been um. hurting me," she told me.

And I thought he was done w/ this. But apparently not.

"well me and mom. You and mandy are the only ones who know. I don't have anywhere to stay right now. Well actually there is mandy's which is where I've been staying. I can't move out untill I'm 18."

"oh wow," I said.

She and mandy were friends.

"but he might find me there. I mean he has the tracking activated on my phone."

"yeah I've been there. Here," I said pulling my extra one out and giving it to her: "use this. My friend gave it to me."

She smiled looking relieved: "thanks."

"uh huh. Hurting you. Um. How?" I asked.

"physically. And. And verbally. And um. In other ways."

I knew exactly what 'other ways' she meant.

"and whenever mom says anything about it he hurts her."

"do Rachel's dads know?" I asked knowing my mom and rachels dads talked.

"um not. Not about me I can't have them know yet idinno if they know about mom."

"oh."

"but I'll text mom and tell her to tell them about her but not me."

"ok."

It occurred to me that it wassss probably a good idea for me to text jessse asshleysss dad and tell him about me and only me. I wouldn't tell him about Rachel or santanna or anyone. But id text them and tell them it wasn't a bad plan for them to tell him.

I texted them thisss.

"so I havent seen you in awhile where you stayin and what happened to the baby?" Jessica asked.

"at a ffriendss. Well hes staying w/ Annabelle ashleysss coussin. But I mean they've both become my friendss so. Im not in a good enough place to get my own place yet maybe when school lets out."

"right."

"and asss for the baby. I. um. Had a misscarriage in the spring."

"oh wow."

"yeah."


	76. Chapter 51

**Karen**

I was asleep, lying in my big white bed next to Pam when a knock came on my tall wooden door.

"Mom?" Anna's voice asked.

"Mmmf," I moaned rolling over.

"Mom!" Anna yelled.

"What?" I answered.

"Katie's sick."

"Ok I'll be right there."

I got up, instantly charged with adrenaline. I knew something had to be really wrong because Anna didn't usually refer to Kate as 'Katie'.

I went across the room and opened the door.

"Where is she honey?" I asked Anna who was standing in the narrow carpeted hall.

"They're going to the ER."

"Oh, my god."

I walked quickly down the hall where I saw Kate in Jesses arms, shivering and bleeding.

"We're going to the ER," he informed me.

"Yeah I know Anna just told me. What happened?" I asked.

"She was coughing up blood when I got to her room. She's lost quite a bit of blood Mrs. Brewer," Tom told me.

"Shes burning up Mom," Evan added.

I thought of the blood spattered on Kate's comforter.

"Well have to get the comforter dry-cleaned," I muttered.

"Mom! Kate's going to the ER," Evan said.

It was only then that I noticed Tom's shirt was off.

"Tom where's your-oh."

He was pressing his shirt against my daughter's nose.

"She needs platelets," Evan told me.

I nodded.

And probably a blood cell count, considering she'd lost quite a bit of blood according to Tom.

"Mom?" Anna asked.

I looked down at my youngest.

"Yes honey?"

"Will I have to give Kate more blood?"

It was only then that I noticed Louisa was with Evan, Jesse and Tom.

"Mom?"

"Yes honey."


	77. Chapter 73

Mandy

It was wed. sept. 5th. alexa, rose, Hannah, lily, adam, jake, jessica, kate and I were all in the choir room for glee club auditions. It was 3 p.m. after school.

Mr. schue was at the front of the class and the rest of us were on the gray carpeted bleacher.

"Hi everyone and welcome to glee club rehearsal. I'm mr. schue for those who don't know. I also teach spanish. Glee club rehearsal is every day after school untill 4. We also do 3 shows a yr. in the fall, winter and spring. musicals I mean. Those include the rest of the school. The glee shows don't. The fall show we're doing is 'phantom'. Auditions are monday after glee club rehearsal. It'll be before Halloween. Oh we're also performing at the Halloween dance. The spring show's is 'delivery' which I don't think has ever been made into a stage production before this. Auditions are after Halloween. So yeah we'll be busy. If you're not in the show or you don't want to be that's ok you can still help w/ them. And we'll be doing one in the spring but I don't know what it'll be. Ok let's get started."

the new members from last yr, alexa, hannah, lily, rose, kate, adam and jake all auditioned. We had a few new embers from this yr. Including marley, kitty, jake. Marley seemed nice she was quiet since she didn't know anyone yet. Kitty didn't seem nice. And jake reminded me of puck.

After glee club auditions there was a fight in the hall. We heard it on our way out of the classroom. Some students weren't talking nice about marley's mom who as the lunch lady. And jake confronted them about it.

"jake classroom now," mr, schue said coming out into the hallway: "the rest of you you can't stay here."

kitty the went elsewhere ad as did everyone else but me and marley.

"mandy you comin?" adam asked looking at me on his way down the hall.

"yeah hold on," I said.

"ok i'll be waiting in my car."

"ok."

I looked down at my phone getting a text from jessica.

'your house after?' she asked.

'yeah' I sent back.

'ok'.

I put my phone in my purse. The hall was quiet. Marley was crying.

"this is like what happened at my last school," she said.

"yeah people aren't always nice here," I said.

"mr. schue seems pretty nice."

"he is. I was new last yr. I'm mandy. Here," I said pulling pocket tissues out of my purse and giving them to her.

Marley took them.

"thank you. You have anything to drink?"

"what like liquor?"

"no I mean like. A beverage."

"oh no. but there's a drinking fountain somewhere around here er I mean a water fountain. And adam might have something in his car."

"oh. Uh like what?"

"soda."

"i'd really prefer juice which.i can probably get in the lunch room since my mom's the lunch lady and I have a key. Don't tell anyone."

"ok I won't. Do you have a way to get...to your mom?"

"well I usually just take the bus."

"um i'll ask adam if it's ok if we take you. Unless..."

"no actually that would be nice to be w/ people. Well nice people."

I smiled.

"you can keep the tissues btw. I have more."

"ok."

"you know where it is?"

"what? Oh the lunchroom."

"yeah."

"yeah I do."

"ok i'll um. Wait here."

"ok."

she left going to the stairs which would take her to the lunch room. There were about 1,000 students at the school and the lunchroom could only hold 400. the rest of us ate in classrooms or outside.

I texted jessica that i'd be a bit late to my house and to wait until I got there which was when i'd send her a text. Then I texted my dad and told him i'd be late. And then adam.

It was quiet in the hallway. Jake and mr. schue had been in there for awhile. I heard the door open someone go in and then close but didn't see who'd gone in. I went to my locker and got vitaminwater then came back and drank it. Still more quiet.

"well sounds like you have a lot of catching up to do so," I heard mr. schue say opening the door.

"yeah ," jake said.

"you comin?" the other guy said.

"no I have some work to do here so," mr. schue said.

"ok."

I turned towards the people. Jake and puck of all people came out of the classroom. So that was who'd gone in.

"omygod puck," I said.

"yeah mandy hey. Been awhile. How's...how are things?" he asked.

I stood and we hugged.

"they're ok. Back for a visit or...?"

"yeah just for a visit. I see you've met my brother here."

"yeah auditions were earlier. How's LA?"

"ok. Yeah I just got back a wk. ago."

"oh."

"how's your family?"

"the same. I'll tell you more later."

"ok."

"where is she?" jake asked.

"oh she's um upstairs. I think she wants to be by her-scuse me," I said as I got a text from adam.

'it's ok', it read.

'ok i'll tell her,' I texted back.

"sorry that was adam," I turned back to the guys: "he's my boyfriend."

"ok well good to see you 2 are still together. Unless, it's not?" puck said.

"no we are and we're ok."

"ok."

"found anyone in LA?" I asked.

"no nothing serious anyway."

"oh well that's ok. Anyway what was i- oh right. So I think she wants to be by herself," I said to jake.

"oh ok."

"shouldn't be too much longer though."

"ok."

"so um do you have a ride back or...?"

"yeah um actually ouck's my ride. We were discussing that in the classroom a bit ago."

"ok and...uh...marley's going w/ me and adam."

"ok so well. Well nice meeting you mandy good audition," jake said.

"yeah you too."

"hey text me about doing something," puck told me: "or no maybe i'll text you. Um well someone will text someone."

"yeah ok," I said.

They left. And marley came back downstairs.

"hey sorry that took so long. I figured i'd get to know the layout of the school a bit more. And have juice."

"it's ok. I was new last yr. so."

"ok."

"ok so jake. Has a ride and you're riding w/ us."

"ok actually I want to pick up some stuff for my mom is it cool if we...?"

"go to the store yeah adam will probably be ok w/ it. And there's a store right near my aunt and uncle's which isn't to far from here."

"oh I don't want you to go to any trouble."

"no really it's not. do you need money or...um or not?"

"no my mom gave me some."

"ok well there's a safeway and a whole foods."

"oh safeway."

"ok."

"so what's adam like?" markey asked as we walked down the hall.

* * *

cheerleading which jessica was in ran from 3 – 4. glee was from 4 – 6 but w/ what happened after it had taken us an hr.. so we'd gone to my house between 7 and 8. we'd had dinner there. dinner had been from 7 – 8.

It was 8 p.m. Jessica and I were in my room. Louia was w/ cherie. The door was closed. We were sitting on my bed. It was quiet.

"um," she began, "there's something you should know. But you can't tell anyone. Not untill we're 18."

"uhm ok," I aid.

"I was actually planning to tell dianna this before I told you but I wanted to tell her in person and w/ her being away..."

"Right."

dianna was in college in new england.

"Over the summer my dad started. Hurting me. Verbally and. And physically. He's stopped for now."

"Oh wow."

I knew what that was like. I'd been hurt like that last yr. by my mom.

"Last yr. my mom um. She hurt me like that too. Most of the yr. louisa know, cherie know, adam…..um evan. Ahley. And by proxy dianna and Annabelle. I won't tell anyone you don't want me to but I think it would be a good idea for you to tell dinna which you're going to do anyway so."

"Right ok. No I will."

"I know."

"Who's Annabelle?"

"Oh she's ashley's cousin. she's lovely. She helped me well us a lot last yr. you'd like her. I don't think you've met her. she was at thanksgiving last yr."

"Wait. Was she the really pretty one, golden brown hair, small?" jessica asked.

I nodded: "yeah."

"Yeah she seems nice."

"Yeah she is."

"How do I get in touch w/ her?"

"um well you don't actually. You just show up at her place which if you're a friend of hers or a friend of her friend's she'll be ok w/."

"Oh."

"i'll go over there w/ you to meet her," I told jessica.

"Yeah ok. When?" she asked.

"Next sat."

"Yeah ok."

"Yeah i'll call her and let her know."

"Ok."

At that moment my sister lily walked by. She knocked on the door.

"Hey i'm going to be drinking you ladies want anything?" she asked us.

"um no," jessica said.

She wasn't old enough to drink nor did she want to at 15. I wasn't old enough either at 16 but I still drank. Adam was 17. Next yr. he'd get his own place.

"Yeah i'll have something," I said.

"Ok what?" lily asked.

"I don't know yet."

"ok."

We went downstairs.


	78. Chapter 78

Mandy

puck and I were talking later that night.

"um i've been meaning to ask," I began.

He looked at me: "yes?"

"how are your sisters? And what did cecilia mean by 'that flower' ? The night we..."

"oh right the night we met. Well ariana isn't 't w/ us anymore. She died just a few months after that night."

"oh oh, my god."

"actually technically she was murdered."

"oh. Wow."

just like marie's mother.

"yeah it's not something I talk about a lot. And jasmine and ginger aren't w/ us anymore either. Jasmine um. Her cancer took her."

oh wow. Just like w/ my aunts.

"and ginger well. She lost the battle."


End file.
